Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 64031 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 320(@200wpm)___ 256(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64031 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 320(@200wpm)___ 256(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
My heart flickers weakly. The stupid thing doesn’t understand. It’s still filled with hope.
There’s no hope though. There never was.
Chapter 14
Carter
Maybe if she’s not with me, she won’t die for me.
The thought comes and goes quickly, but as I watched her walk down the porch steps, it was there for a moment.
That I could let her go to save her.
She can’t die for me, if I’m not with her.
The thought is only a small blip in my consciousness, but it keeps coming back. Even as Sebastian runs into the room to tell me she’s out front. I don’t have time to question fate and what I’ve done. I can’t leave her unprotected. That’s not an option. I won’t allow it.
“I know.” The words come out even but low, with a threatening menace I can’t hide.
“We’ve got an eye on her.” He’s catching his breath, his chest rising and falling with heavy pants, but his demeanor is calm. His words though, are prying. “Does she normally walk out past the gate?” He’s careful not to ask outright if she’s trying to escape, which is something I’m not used to from him. I can see the change in the way he looks at me. Time’s changed many things since the last time we’ve done something like this together.
It takes a moment, another moment before I can even breathe at the realization. A decade has passed, and I hate what I’ve become.
I didn’t want to be this man. I didn’t ask for this life.
As much as I wish I could, I can’t go back. My gaze centers on Sebastian, holding the authority I’ve fucking earned. “Lock her up.” Every syllable comes out hard, and each word is accompanied with a slamming in my chest.
She can’t die then. She’s safe here.
“Everything is barricaded, guarded and armed. No one is getting close and no one is going to hurt her.” The words echo in the room and Sebastian is silent. He already knows I’m merely reassuring myself.
“Just snatch her up?” Sebastian asks easily, as if there’s nothing at all wrong with what I’m doing. I nod, feeling a knot wind tighter in my stomach, twisting unforgivingly at the fact that she’s trying to leave me. Willing to leave me.
“I know she’s angry.” I try to justify the fact that she’s leaving, but I swallow my words. “I’ll make it right with her,” I say as I turn away from Sebastian and move to the window to see how much farther she’s gone. “Don’t let her get much farther than the gate.”
“You think she’ll go all the way down the drive?” Jase questions from behind me. There are men lining the estate, past the drive although it’s still not safe. I don’t bother to turn to him as the sun sets beyond the trees, where it’s least protected. The light blue in the sky instantly darkens as the auburn leaves weave patterns with the remaining light.
“Just get her.” The knot climbs up my stomach and twists and turns inside of me. It’s a pain I haven’t felt before.
Last night plays out as I look at myself in the reflection of the window. I love her. I love her completely and without hesitation. But the man I am is one who destroys.
The fact that some part of her loves me, only means she’s setting herself up to be ruined. Every piece of her broken… by me.
As I swallow down the thought, my hands move to my pockets and I vow to fix this between us. I don’t have another option. I won’t let her go.
“You all right?” Jase’s voice brings me back to the present and as I turn to him, I look back to the sofa. Empty. Just as the floor is in front of my desk. The visions of last night pass like another blip.
Sebastian’s gone, and Jase has taken his place. Time is moving like the flickering images of an old movie reel with some of the frames missing. I don’t know how long Sebastian’s been gone or when Jase came into my office.
“No,” I answer my brother honestly and my next words come out ragged. “I’ve never been like this. I’ve never,” I pause to pull my hands from my pockets and run them over my face. Staring at the drawer to my desk, I remember taking the sleep aid last night. It’s only a drug and it’s never affected me like this. It has to be the drug. The sweets. The last time I took it was years ago.
“She’s just angry,” Jase says then looks over his shoulder before shutting the office door and coming to take his seat opposite me.
“I don’t want to sit,” I tell him with agitation before he can sink into the chair.
I watch his knuckles tighten as he grips the back of the seat. “I want this over. We need to end it.” My words come out harder and faster as the desperation to move past this with Aria takes over.