Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 78576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 393(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 393(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
I chuckle. “So not my strong suit.”
He places his hand on the table a half inch away from mine. “What do you want to be when you grow up, Maddie?”
His words hit me like a knife right between my eyes.
I frown. “I guess… I honestly don’t know. I feel like an idiot even saying it, but it’s so true. Part of me was hoping I’d find some kind of inspiration during this European tour, but now I’m back here.”
“That’s okay, I didn’t know for the longest time, and then it hit me.”
“What you were going to do?” I ask.
“With my biology major, I decided to go into nursing.”
I smile. “That is a wonderful endeavor. What made you choose nursing?”
“A doctor was my first choice, but I can’t afford medical school, and I didn’t decide on this path until it was too late to get ready to take the MCAT on time anyway. So I figured I’d try nursing. If I like it, and if I still feel the drive to go to medical school, I can always do it later.”
“That’s an amazing outlook,” I say. “But I still don’t know what the hell I’m going to do with my life. Seems like I’ve spent it in my older siblings’ shadows, and the shadows of some of my sorority sisters.”
I don’t mention the Steel cousins, but he may already know who I’m talking about.
“Maddie, you aren’t in anyone’s shadow. And you need to realize that.”
I look down. “That’s what my dad says too. I suppose I need to stop letting yesterday take up too much of today.”
He widens his eyes. “Wow, that’s really profound.”
“Don’t be too impressed. I didn’t coin that phrase. Will Rogers did.”
“That’s okay. You pulled it out when you meant it.”
Then something comes to me.
“I’ve always been so interested in finding people who inspire me,” I say. “Maybe I need to start inspiring myself.”
Grayson grins. “You’ve inspired me already.”
I shake my head. “No, I’m being serious. I’ve read so many self-help books, and I end up feeling great after I read them. Then I go back into my old ways, but I always feel better when I’m helping someone else.”
“You could be a therapist.”
I shake my head. “No, definitely not a therapist. Clearly science isn’t my thing. More like a… A life coach.” I cross my arms. “I don’t think I would be good at helping someone heal from past trauma, but I think what I could do is help them look forward and achieve specific goals. And my first client is going to be myself.”
He smiles and takes a sip of his wine. “Did I just help you decide what to do with your life?”
I nod as a smile slowly spreads across my face. “I think maybe you did. It feels right. And nothing about where I’m going in my so-called career has felt right…like ever. It’s funny. When we were in Europe, Brianna told me that my gift was empathy, helping other people with their feelings. I think she may be right. I could use those skills as a life coach.”
“Sure you don’t want to go into therapy?”
“No, I don’t think so. I like to focus on the future rather than the past. It’s like Will Rogers said. Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.”
Rosalie returns to take our orders.
“I’m so sorry, Rosalie,” I say. “I haven’t even looked at the menu.”
“I’m having the lasagna,” Grayson says, “with a Caesar salad.”
“You know what?” I put down my menu. “I just had lasagna yesterday, but it still sounds good. I’ll have the same, Rosalie.”
Rosalie smiles and collects our menus. “Great, I’ll get these right in.”
I smile at Grayson, and he gives me a wide grin back.
I’m happy.
Happy to be here, and happy to be sharing a meal with a nice man.
Even though I’d much rather be looking across the table at Dave Simpson.
By the time we get into the Uber to go back, I’m just giddy. I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders, knowing now what I think I can do.
It’s like I’ve been training for this my entire life, looking for inspirational quotes, helping myself feel better about my situation.
And the funny thing is? I feel better about my situation right now in this moment than I have for a long time.
We get to the dorm, and Grayson walks me to my door.
“I had a great time, Maddie.”
“I did too, Grayson. Thank you.”
He leans down to kiss me, and I let him brush his lips against mine, but when he probes between them for entrance with his tongue, I pull away.
He blinks. “What’s wrong?”
I take a deep breath and sigh. “I don’t want to give you the wrong idea, Grayson. I’m involved with someone else. It’s new, but it’s exciting, and the two of us have been through a few things. I don’t want to screw that up.”