Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 359(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 359(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
“I have destroyed families without batting an eye. Murdered enemies for merely disrespecting me. I made sure I was feared in order to stay alive, and I’ve watched my son do the same in the last several months. He’s led the pack, exactly like I had for several decades. I’ve prayed on my hands and knees for him to find the peace he needs to live the life he’s leading. Except, God stopped listening to my prayers the day I turned my back on him.”
“God always forgives, son. But it has to begin with you. Go on.”
I didn’t hesitate, revealing the one sin I never regretted, “I murdered my father.”
The silence was deafening, till he finally said, “Continue.”
“I have no remorse for taking his life. You see, he ordered the execution of my mother. Tried to play it off like it was just another consequence of the life we led. It wasn’t. I cursed God the day she died in my arms, while my sister and I watched her take her last breath. Her funeral was in this church, Father. This is the first time I’ve stepped foot inside these walls since.”
The memories of her ceremony sped through my mind. My eyes recalled what happened on the morning of her untimely death. A movie reel on repeat. The sound of bullets lacing her car.
The screams.
The blood.
The silence that followed.
“I hate you! Do you fucking hear me?! I fucking hate you!” I bellowed to the Lord above for taking my mother away from me.
Shaking my head, I shoved away the memories of that day.
“My sister left the city after our mother’s funeral, but not before she told me she was pregnant. She knew the world we were born into, and made me promise if something happened to her, I’d step in and raise her daughter. Six years later, I ordered the murder of another family member. Her husband, my brother-in-law, Michael. I hated him since the first time I met him. I can read people, Father. It’s how I’ve cheated death. He never loved her, she was a prize to him.”
I shut my eyes, thinking of another place and time.
“He was cheating on my sister with my wife’s mother, who later killed herself because of him. I know what it sounds like. I wouldn’t believe it myself if I hadn’t witnessed it all with my own two eyes. Amari was best friends with my wife’s mother, Sophia. At one time, Sophia meant something to me as well, but she was weak. All wrong for me and this life. I don’t think Michael loved either of them. He was nothing but a coward, trying to be a man. The best thing that ever came out of him was my wife. Long story short, he abandoned Sophia when he found out he knocked her up with Lexi. I threatened his life if he didn’t come clean with my sister about his affair and child. Giving him years to tell her the truth. He didn’t…” I shook my head, again inhaling a deep, solid breath.
“So I took matters into my own hands. Following through on my warning, he died in a car accident. Except, my sister and niece were with him. They weren’t supposed to be with him. It was raining, similar to how it is right now,” I scoffed out a breath. “Trust me, Father, the irony isn’t lost on me.”
Another strike of lighting shattered down upon on us, making it feel as though the confessional was trembling with what I was confessing.
“Amari died because of me. To this day, this moment, this exact second…she is my biggest regret of everything I’ve done in all my life. My actions ate me alive from the minute I learned of her death, which once again was brought on by my hand.”
A single tear fell down the side of my face, remembering her lying there no longer full of life, laughter, or love.
No longer full of anything.
“I still remember the day I had to identify her body at the morgue in the hospital, as if it were happening right now. I kissed her forehead, expecting to feel her warmth, her love, her soul, I felt none of those things. She was a freezing cold corpse against my lips. The last words I said to her were, ‘Peace, I leave with you. My peace I give you,’ while I made the sign of the cross over her lifeless body. Before I could fall apart and die right along with her, I left and walked into my niece, Daisy’s hospital room. She was so tiny, so frail, bruises covered her small frame from her face to her legs. There were machines hooked up everywhere, as she laid unconscious in her hospital bed.” I paused again, needing a second to compose myself.