Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 359(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 359(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
I tossed files off his desk.
Heaved art off the walls.
In one long, hard swoop, I knocked over all the decorations on the mantel, over the fireplace. They hit the hardwood floor beneath my feet, shattering into more debris.
“What’s it going to take for you to show me something? Anything! This—” I pointed firmly at him “—is why I wanted nothing to do with you! I cannot be in a marriage where my husband hides everything from me. Including what he’s feeling!”
Four security guards barged into the room like bats out of hell, bringing their intense stares over to me and then him.
“Sorry, Boss. We thought—”
“My wife decided to redecorate my office. What would you call this, sweetheart? Resolving marital conflict brought on by PMS?”
My mouth dropped open and my hand snatched the next thing I saw off his desk.
“You throw that,” he taunted in a harsh tone. “And I’m done being blamed for all the broken shit in your life. Trust me when I say, Sienna, I’ll make your pretty little ass pay for it. I promise.”
I jerked back, caught off guard with why this was suddenly important. Out of everything I destroyed in the room, what was I holding?
Through the corner of my eyes, I caught a glimpse of myself.
“What the—”
Looking at what was in my grasp, I was on the brink of tears. Never imagining I’d be seeing…
A picture of me in my wedding gown.
Chapter 29
—Sienna—
“That’s the only photo I have of you on our wedding day that you don’t look fucking miserable.”
I was hyperventilating, my chest rose and fell faster and faster. My heart pounded harder and harder. The vein on my neck throbbed, aching against my clammy skin. There was nothing else I could do, nothing else I could say. I was at a loss.
I felt nothing but fucking lost.
“What are you doing to me?”
He nodded toward the guards to leave and they did. Once again, we were alone. Except this time, all our demons were present. Sitting on our shoulders, waiting to divide and conquer.
Cruz scoffed out a breath, inspecting my handy work from where he was standing. He shook his head, his disappointment searing off of him into my flesh.
“This—” he gestured around the room “—is the fucking bullshit I come home to, day after day, after day. Do I treat you like this, Sin? Do I disrespect you in your own home? In your place of sanctuary? Do I walk in and shit all over you? No. I don’t. I’m trying to fucking love you, Sienna, but you make it so fucking difficult to be near you. I’m exhausted trying to prove myself to you. I’m not a saint, but you don’t want a goddamn pussy. You want a man. Someone who will put you in your place. Keep your fucking attitude in check because God knows, you have a mouth. You claim to be my wife…then start acting like one.”
I swallowed hard.
Love? He loves me?
“You don’t even know me. Why should I believe you when you say you’re trying to love me? You’re never here. What do you do for me, husband? You didn’t buy this roof over my head. You didn’t purchase one thing for me in this house, our home. It was all given to us, just handed over without asking for it. My clothes, my car, my jewelry. Jesus Christ, even my wedding ring.” I held it up in the air. “You didn’t pick it out for me. It was my mother’s. This isn’t our marriage, Cruz. It’s a carbon copy of a life I never wanted.”
I was about to admit the toughest truth from my childhood.
“I don’t want to have my parents’ marriage. They fought all the time. My father was no martyr, he cheated, had women on the side for as long as I could remember. Yes, my mother was the love of his life. She was his angel, but he didn’t respect her. He did what he wanted and expected her to keep her mouth shut for the life he gave her.”
His eyes glazed over as he carefully listened to every word that escaped my lips. I’d never shared this with anyone, not even Aurora. It was my secret to keep and yet, I couldn’t stop myself from telling Cruz about it. I was ashamed of the marriage my parents had.
Yes, there was a lot of love. However, there was also a lot of hate. It was the life I lived, it wasn’t all kisses and happiness. It was mostly trauma and scars.
“I love my father with every bone in my body. He’s always been the best Papà, but he was a shitty fucking husband and it took me a long time to realize the difference between the two.”
Looking down at the picture, my stare lingered before carrying on. “My mother loved him so much, she gave her life for him, and I’m not talking about her death. I will never allow myself to be that weak, to let love blind me from what I fucking want and deserve. Do you understand now? Is it making sense to you, or do you need me to fucking spell it out for you?”