Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
His lips quirked and he shook his head as he shut the door and walked around the hood.
I took that moment to shimmy my behind in that seat, really going for it.
It was a personal celebration, but since it was something to celebrate, being in Auggie’s car again, with Auggie, I was going to celebrate it.
He got in, and I stopped shimmying because the ritual was complete.
We belted up and he backed out of my drive.
“So, let me guess,” I started. “You haven’t had a long-term girlfriend.”
“I was with a woman almost throughout my time in the marines.”
Wait.
Seriously?
I looked his way. “How long was that?”
“Nearly five years.”
Whoa.
“That’s a…it’s a…” I was too surprised at further info on Auggie that had not been shared by anyone to get the words out. Finally, I got them out. “That’s a long time.”
He glanced at me before looking back to the road. “Pepper, I’m thirty-four. I’m a bachelor. And I’ve never been married. But I’ve been committed a few times. Marie was just the longest term.”
“What happened with Marie?” I asked.
“She cheated on me,” he answered matter-of-factly.
But I’d stopped breathing.
That night was the night of impossibilities, for certain.
“She…really?” I queried, and I couldn’t keep the disbelief out of my voice.
“It’s rampant in the armed forces. Lots of time away from each other. You can get stationed in different places. For women, they’re spoiled for choice. For guys, they think being a real man is getting your wick as wet as you can as often as you can with as much variety as you can get. Not to mention, shit can get real, and if you think at any moment you could die, you live it up while you have the chance.”
“Cheating is rampant outside the armed forces too,” I murmured, and he reached out and squeezed my knee.
He then sadly released it and said, “Maybe, even now, I’m trying to find excuses for her.”
“Been there,” I replied with feeling. “But it happens everywhere, no matter what job you do.”
“Yeah,” he muttered.
“Did you live with Marie?” I asked.
“Yeah, for about four years.”
Holy hell.
“Why didn’t you…are you not a marrying guy?”
“We were engaged.”
Holy hell!
Did none of the girls know any of this?
I mean, why was I just learning all of it now?
I did, of course, get that there were things that Auggie might want to share that they shouldn’t.
But him having a former fiancée, committing to another woman like that, wasn’t a state secret, for goodness sakes.
I stopped asking questions.
I did this for so long, and obviously I didn’t tamp down my shock, which meant Auggie felt it, which was probably why he spoke.
“Babe, I’m over her. Way over her. That was years ago. It didn’t end well, obviously, and I haven’t heard from her in a while. Mutual friends share where she’s at, but trust me, I don’t care.”
“All right,” I replied.
There was a pregnant moment of silence before he did something huge.
Something extraordinary.
Something profound.
Something I would not forget for the rest of my life.
He hooked his pinkie with mine.
That was it.
That was the something huge.
A small gesture.
A pinkie hug.
That didn’t mean it wasn’t colossal for all the things it was.
Intimate.
Cute.
Tender.
Thoughtful.
But then he made it even bigger when he said gently, “Pepper, I didn’t cheat on her. I’d be deployed. She was in the marines too, so she’d be deployed. We’d be separated months, back together for weeks, separated for months again. And in all that time, she had all of me. I never considered it. Never looked at another woman in that way.”
Yes.
Oh yes.
That made it even bigger.
Auggie kept talking.
“She didn’t want to end it. She said it was a moment of weakness. She said she was lonely. She said it happened once, and she regretted it the minute it was over. She confessed. I didn’t find out, she told me. She couldn’t live with it between us. She wanted to go to counseling, alone, and if I was willing, also as a couple. But she didn’t lay any blame on me. She said it was her thing. She just wanted me to hang with her while she worked shit out at the same time try to work it out together.”
I said nothing.
Auggie finished, “I didn’t hang. I packed my shit and got out.”
At that, I turned my head his way.
“You didn’t give her a shot?” I asked.
“She let another man slide his dick in her body. That’s sacred space, Pepper. She’d gifted that to me. There is no moment of weakness that can explain that.”
Wow.
Those were beautiful words.
Especially the “sacred space” part.
And, well…the “gifted that to me” part.
Still…
“That’s an extreme point of view, Auggie,” I noted carefully.
It felt like he was going to take his pinkie away, so I tensed mine and he stopped.
But he inquired, “Are you gonna take up for her?”
“No. Your feelings and thoughts matter to me. I don’t know her. She doesn’t matter to me. Also, I agree with you. Things can go sideways in a relationship, and there is no definitive right or wrong for every person in every couple as to how they deal with it. But that’s an intense betrayal.”