Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Her head ticked but she said, “That would be best, I think.”
“What about Juno?”
She was looking me dead in the eye when she answered, “Pepper, we’ve been dancing around it for years. But you should know, we all regard Juno as a true bastard of the church, born out of it and out of wedlock. Reverend Clyde doesn’t even acknowledge her as part of our family. I can’t imagine how it would help Juno, or Mom, for either of them to be around each other in this trying time.”
My voice was again small when I asserted, “Mom loves Juno.”
“In a week or two, a month, or maybe a couple of days, Mom is going to realize how close to God she is.”
“What you mean is, Mom is going to be in so much pain, she wouldn’t know if the archangel Gabriel sat by her bed and patted her hand.”
Saffron didn’t answer.
So the answer was…yes.
That’s what she meant.
Good Christ.
“I want to see this entire conversation as a shimmer of light in the darkness that is trying to figure out what to do with my love for all of you, as it absolutely shows me the path to understanding you are not healthy for me or Juno. But I don’t see it that way. I don’t see anything. I just feel. And all I feel is pain,” I announced.
Another flinch.
I didn’t care.
I ordered, “Take me to Mom so I can say good-bye.”
And then I marched down the sidewalk, even though I had no idea where I was going.
“Pepper.”
I stopped and looked back.
“You should have let us go years ago,” she said.
“Silly me, I loved you. So I didn’t. But you’ve leaped mammoth strides in taking care of that problem today, Saff. So how about we get this done so I can be out of your hair and I can also just be away from here.”
We stood there, two sisters, staring into each other’s eyes, and it was not lost on me the way we did.
She was behind me by several feet.
I was ahead of her, not fully turned to her, looking at her over my shoulder.
I knew I’d remember that moment until my dying day.
It was us then.
It was us in the past.
It would always be us.
Me, breaking free.
Saffron, behind, mired in total, absolute shit.
She nodded.
Neither of us said a word to each other as she guided me to a door at the back of the building. We went in, and she led me through what could only be described as a dormitory made of large suites that looked like small apartments. Most of the doors were open, but I saw nary a soul.
At the end of this journey was my mother.
And good-bye.
* * *
Auggie
Auggie wasn’t feeling it after he got Pepper’s text of,
It didn’t go great.
Understatement of
the millennium.
And on the heels of those,
I’ll call you after Juno goes
to bed. Hope you’re having
a good day.
And he wasn’t feeling it because Pepper was a processor. She didn’t sit on things. She felt it. Talked about it. Sorted it through. And sorted it out.
Maybe she was doing that and needed space to do it on her own.
But Auggie didn’t get that from her.
It was the “understatement of the millennium” part.
He didn’t feel better when he asked if she wanted him to swing around and she didn’t answer.
Then he asked,
Just let me know you’re hanging
in there. Okay?
And she didn’t answer that either.
This was why he was at her door and really not feeling it because he rang the bell, knocked, and she didn’t show at the door.
She always showed at the door.
There was dark shit happening at that church.
And she’d been to that church.
Now she was a ghost?
Standing at her door, he got his phone out and called.
When he got voicemail, he said, “Hey, I’m outside. Quick status check to make sure you’re good. Then I’ll leave and we’ll talk when you’re ready.”
And he did this going back to his car and grabbing his kit.
When she didn’t call back or open the door by the time he was back, he opened his kit, picked her lock in twenty seconds, and let himself inside.
Quick scan of the lower floor.
Nothing.
But her purse was in the office and her vehicle was in the garage.
He made his way upstairs.
All the doors were open except hers at the end.
Shit.
Maybe he was overreacting.
This could be her power-nap time.
He stood in the upstairs hall, undecided about how he felt about the fact he was acting like a total creeper, breaking into her house to make sure she was okay, when her bedroom door opened.
She made a noise of surprise when she saw him and jumped back a step, hand on her door like she was going to slam it shut.
Fuck.
“It’s just me,” he pointed out the obvious.
She came out of her room but only a little. “How did you get in here?”