Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 80651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
I sucked in a breath, determined not to crumble. “He didn’t do anything. That’s the worst part.”
Stella topped up our champagne glasses as Parker just hugged me tight and I told her what had happened when Gilly spotted me coming out of Jacob’s house.
“You were right,” I said, my voice faltering. “It was never going to work long term anyway, so I don’t know why I’m so upset.”
Parker held me by the shoulders. “The ones you really like, really hurt. Look at the mess I was in when Tristan and I hit our road bump.”
“Except there’ll be no happy ending for me,” I said. I had to be realistic.
“If it helps at all,” Stella said. “The guy I thought was the one for me ended things. The next thing I knew, he was engaged to my best friend and . . . get this, he sent me an invitation to the wedding.”
“You’re kidding,” Parker said.
Stella shook her head. “And I ended up going.”
A revelation like that was enough to knock me out of my wallowing. “You went to the wedding of your ex-boyfriend and your best friend?”
“Long story, but yes. I kind of got an offer I couldn’t refuse from Beck—who was a total stranger to me at the time.”
“Beck wanted to go to the wedding?”
“Yup. I ended up going to the wedding of the man I thought I was going to marry, only to end up finding my true soulmate while I was there. This Jacob guy is just the one before you meet your endgame.”
I smiled like I believed her, but as I’d said to Jacob, things didn’t always turn out for the best. “Thanks, Stella.”
“I know you really liked him,” Parker said, knowing that platitudes weren’t going to make me feel any better. “You’d never have bent your rules for just anyone.”
Stella meant well, but she didn’t understand how difficult giving up Jacob had been. I hadn’t expected it to be so wrenching to say those words to him in the car, to pull away from him and leave. It had taken everything I had. I’d comforted myself with the knowledge that the pain would fade. But here I was, days later, with a wound as fresh as it had been.
“I just didn’t expect it to hit me so hard,” I explained.
Parker and Stella exchanged a look.
“And there’s definitely no way, though?” Stella asked.
I shook my head. “We’ve both tried to think of a solution but we’ve come up blank.”
“It’s such a shame,” Stella said. “It’s not like one of you wants to end it and the other one doesn’t. It sounds like you’re both in love but the logistics don’t work. It’s heartbreaking.”
In love . . .
I’d suspected. Yes, she was right—I was in love with Jacob. I’d avoided defining my feelings for him—too scared of the implications—but there was no denying it. What I felt for him was different from anything I’d ever felt for anyone. The problem was, love wasn’t enough.
Parker caught my eye. She was looking for confirmation that Stella was right, that I was in love with Jacob.
“He sees the best in me and wants the best for me,” I said. “And I feel the same about him. It’s not just sexual chemistry, it’s . . . he’s . . .” I shut my eyes, willing it all away. I’d dealt with hurt before and I knew it subsided. The pain would evaporate. It had too. Only, Jacob had left a mark on me I wasn’t sure would ever fade.
Thirty-Two
Jacob
Norfolk was the only place I could be right now. I needed to be away from the hospital. Away from Hampstead. Away from London. I couldn’t be anywhere near Sutton because there was no telling what I’d do if I ran into her.
There was nothing to do.
She’d been right—there was no way through for us.
“Shall we have another cup of tea?” Mum said, looking up from her magazine. We were both sitting at the kitchen table, the radio on in the background. Mum was almost always busy, so I knew that sitting opposite me, doing nothing but being with her eldest son, was her way of holding my hand.
“I think I might go for a walk,” I said.
“Maybe just hang on a few minutes. In case it rains.”
I looked out of the kitchen window at the sky. It was a low blanket of white-grey cloud that was definitely set in for the day, but there wasn’t a hint of rain. She was trying to keep me from going out on my own. “I just need to clear my head.” I’d explained to her that Sutton and I had split up because it was too difficult trying to keep our relationship private. I’d expected her to be relieved; I knew how she felt about relationships within the hospital.