Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 90475 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90475 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
And the sad thing is, I do know that. She is constant.
“It’s only one night. I’m moving into my place tomorrow,” I say, since this is just a stop gap.
“Stay as long as you want,” she says, perhaps wanting to save me from me.
“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine,” I say, but my voice is breaking.
She ushers me into the living room and hands me a tissue. “You don’t look fine. What happened? I knew that guy would break your heart. I knew it was a bad idea. I just knew it,” she says, like she’s going to beat up those jerks on the playground.
Only, she doesn’t know there were two jerks who did this to me. With a sigh that breaks me, I just let out a raw, “I know.”
“Let me give you a hug,” she says.
I let her because she’s here with an open door and at least in her own bossy, annoying, judging way, she’s fighting for me.
The men I fell in love with did not.
37
I’M THE DICK
Ryker
In the kitchen, I glare at my best friend. Right now, he feels like my enemy. “You’re a fucking dick,” I say.
Chase is ice as he stares right back at me. “Oh, I’m the dick?”
“How could you do that to her?”
“Do what? Try to fix things? Try to solve the problem?”
I stab the kitchen counter with my finger. “Make her feel like she’s nothing.”
He rolls his eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. How did you try to make her feel like she was everything? I didn’t see you doing anything. You fucking stood there and grunted.”
A plume of anger rises inside me. “Because you’d already decided how it was going to be,” I say, seething. “Like you did before.”
“We’re still on that? We’re still negotiating that fucking issue?” he asks, shaking his head, then wheeling around and yanking open a cupboard like he’ll rip it off the hinges.
“Because you’re still doing the same shit,” I say.
Shaking his head, Chase grabs a bottle and a cup, pours a few fingers, then knocks it all back. He sets down the glass with an angry clink. “And you’re one to talk. What did you do? You were just Grumpy Ryker. Angry Ryker. Growly Ryker.” He holds his arms out wide. “Well, Growly Ryker didn’t solve the problem.”
I clench my fists. “And you didn’t either, Mister Fix-It,” I bite out, then turn around and stalk down the hall.
He’s seconds after me. “It’s easy to get mad at me, isn’t it? It’s easy to wrap yourself in this whole persona you’ve created. The guy who’s unfazed. The guy who’s so tough, he just grunts. That’s what you do. You create this whole illusion. And then you use it when it suits you. When it’s fucking convenient.”
I whirl around, fuming now. “And you’re better? You just stand there and take over. You try to fix everything before you even think about what it means. Before you even consider how anything comes across.”
“I didn’t see you trying to fix it,” he says, missing the point entirely.
“You don’t give anyone else a chance,” I roar.
“So what did you want to say that I didn’t let you say?” he asks, sweeping out a hand. “The floor is yours.”
Fuck him and his empty gestures. “How magnanimous of you.”
“Magnanimous. So typical. You say that stuff to just cover up how you really feel.”
With narrowed eyes, and righteous rage in my heart, I step closer, poking his chest. “And I know what you do. You try to make everything right to cover up how you really feel.”
He pushes my finger off his chest. “Well, Mister Expert. Tell me how I feel then? Or hey, better yet. How do you feel?”
I didn’t tell Trina that I was falling in love with her. No way am I going to tell him. No way am I going to say I wanted to make a go of this crazy thing we built. Because no matter how angry I am at Chase right now, I made a deal with him. He’s not interested in a relationship. So what am I going to do? Go after her and confess my dumb heart? Ask her to be with just me? Not an option. I promised that I wouldn’t let a woman come between us and I won’t, even though he’s a world-class fuck-face right now.
“Forget it,” I say, because I’m not giving him the satisfaction.
I head into the room I didn’t use and grab my shit. Three minutes later, I’m out the door too and in my car. My floors are fixed. They’ve been fixed since Thursday. I didn’t tell him. I didn’t tell Trina. I didn’t need to stay here any longer.
I chose to.
But I’m leaving because I’m not only mad at him, I’m mad at myself. Chase is one hundred percent right.