Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 58090 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 290(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58090 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 290(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
He’s right, I do need to go. I also need to bury these feelings I’m having. I can’t lose Hartford.
I’d rather feel this constant ache than regret and heartbreak.
Chapter Eleven
Hartford
I tap away at my keyboard in my tiny cubicle at work the next day. I’m writing all the words and it feels so good. I’ll have this article done in no time. That thought brings my rapid-fire fingers to a halt.
I’ll finish the article soon, and the fun will be over.
After sending a quick email asking for an extension on my article, I slam my laptop shut.
Is it bad I want to keep exploring these things with Paxton?
It is, isn’t it?
I need to talk to someone, so once the workday is done, I rush out of my cubicle and head downtown. I’m not sure where to turn. I really don’t have anyone to talk to, until I spot the Books, Spine, and Sinker Book Shop, and head inside.
“Hey, Hartford,” Millie greets me as I enter her shop. “What brings you by today?”
I glance around and the bookstore is empty. “I need someone to talk to.” I slump against a bookshelf.
Millie smiles at me. “Come sit down and spill the tea.”
I tell her everything, and I mean everything. I tell her about the article, Paxton helping me, and about how I’m feeling something low in my belly every time he looks at me a certain way. Once I’m done, Millie sighs.
“This is a sticky situation. You’re sure he doesn’t like you as more than a friend?”
I give a half shrug at her words. “No, definitely not. You know how men are.”
“What?”
I lean back in my seat. “They have sex with no feelings. Maybe Paxton is just thinking that. Like when we’re in the moment it gets heated, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“You said you have a rule where if things get weird you’ll stop, right?” Millie asks.
I nod. “Yeah, but is it bad that I don’t want to stop?”
Millie shakes her head slowly. “Girl, I don’t know what to tell you. I think you might like him.”
I contemplate what she’s saying to me. Do I like him?
I mean, it’s Paxton. Of course, I love him as a friend. But could it be more than that?
“Think about it,” Millie continues. “You hardly ever date. Maybe you don’t date because a part of you thinks nobody will ever be like Paxton. That maybe Paxton is who you really want.”
“I…I don’t know.”
Could what she’s saying be true?
Have I secretly been in love with my best friend?
No. The lines of our friendship are blurring because of this assignment.
“Don’t think about anything today. Just think about what you want, Hartford. What do you truly want?”
I stare into Millie’s brown eyes. “I don’t know.”
She places her hand on my arm. “Give it some thought. If you realize you don’t think of Paxton that way, then talk to him about this assignment. Maybe you should end it. If you do want to be with him, then go all in.”
I chew on my bottom lip as I think about what I want.
Do I want my best friend?
Maybe I do, because the thought of stopping this whole thing makes me sad.
Paxton and I have been seeing each other every night for a week. A whole week. We’ve been trying our hand at this BDSM thing, but so far have proven unsuccessful at everything we’ve tried. And we’ve tried a lot.
Why’s it so hard?
Literally. Ha. Just kidding, but seriously. All week long we’ve been trying different BDSM things and failing badly.
Tonight will be different. Or will it?
Tonight, I invite Paxton over for a simple handcuff and feather play. I’m wearing a tight little black dress with black stockings and have paired it with my black hooker heels—a sexy six-inch stiletto.
He takes one look at me as he steps through my front door and blows out a low whistle.
“Holy fuck,” he says under his breath.
It makes me feel sexy, wanted.
“I bought handcuffs,” I say.
He stares at me with what looks like lust in his eyes. “I’ve always wanted to see you in handcuffs.”
I blink. “You have?”
“Yeah, just more in an arrested way, not in the kinky way. But this is so much better.”
I let out a nervous laugh. “Well, follow me.”
I’ve got my bedroom set with candles and the lights turned down low, creating a romantic glow. After stepping into the room with Paxton, I start second-guessing whether I took it too far.
His eyes roam over my queen-sized bed which takes center stage, adorned with plush pillows and a fluffy duvet in a floral pattern reminiscent of a summer garden. On the light-blue bedside table his eyes roam over the pink fuzzy handcuffs waiting there to be used. A purple feather tickler I grabbed from an internet sex store rests next to it.