Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 90852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
“What made you change your mind?” I asked. “You’ve been so against it—for obvious reasons.”
He smirked softly. “You.”
My chest constricted and felt all warm, and I leaned in and kissed his cheek.
“I have to let KC go too,” he admitted. “Unlike with you and Lucian, there’s nothing to revive or wonder about.”
I snorted. “There’s absolutely nothing with me and Lucian. I’ve tried—when he approached me and asked if I was interested in scening together, I stood my ground and said I wanted playing with him to include dates. He knows I’ve had feelings for him for a long time.”
“I know,” he said with a firm nod, “but things change, remember? He was with that idiot for several years, and he obviously got hurt. It’s not weird he’s not ready for commitment right away. He’s only been single, like, what, five or six months?”
I frowned and sat back a little.
Was Noa right?
I thought back on how pathetic I’d felt all this time. Watching Lucian from afar, being too obvious with my pining… I remembered a few years ago, he took me aside after a play party, and he hugged me. He hugged me, kissed me on the forehead, and said I deserved the best Master. We’d never played or anything. I’d just assumed he’d sensed my crush—I knew he had. And he’d cushioned the blow before returning to his own life.
I’d been mortified and a little angry, ’cause he hadn’t seen what the rest of us had. That Robbie had used him. God, I was so glad that shit-stain had left the community after Lucian ended their relationship.
I side-eyed Noa, not entirely satisfied with his reasoning—yet. “Why don’t you apply the same logic to you and KC?”
He cocked a brow. “How is that similar?”
“How’s it any different?” I countered. “You two shared a special connection—you said his way of being your stepdad wasn’t…exactly normal—but you were still his stepson, and you clearly caught him off guard when you kissed.”
“And?” Noa pressed, getting defensive. “He asked for time. I’m still fucking waiting three years later.”
Okay, fair point. KC had the ball in his court and wasn’t doing anything about it. But there could be an explanation. “Instead of gently kicking the ball to his court, maybe you should’ve kicked it in his face.”
Noa spluttered, and I laughed. I couldn’t help it.
“I’m serious,” I chuckled. “He was a father to you. He wasn’t openly gay. He was still married to your mom, for chrissakes. And then he was in a life-changing accident. Can you imagine what that must’ve been like? People have lost their minds for less. And—” As the thought hit me, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t started with this. “I don’t know how many times you’ve ranted about your ‘awesome kiss that should’ve been the beginning of a perfect life,’ to use your words. You told him you could be the perfect boy for him. Does he interpret that as you having feelings for him, or does he assume you’re just desperate to keep him in your life? If we think Masters and Daddies have a way of believing they know what’s best all the time, imagine what an actual dad thinks.”
KC could’ve easily dismissed Noa’s act as one of desperation.
Noa scowled to himself and bit at a cuticle.
If he was right about Lucian and me, maybe I was right about KC and him.
Where did that leave us?
“Ugh, I don’t like thinking about this.” I threw a crust onto my plate and blew out a heavy breath.
“Yeah, this is how you give yourself the stress poops.”
I glared at him.
“What? I’m right!” he defended. “You start worrying about the future, you get anxious, you get nervous, and then your stomach hurts. This is why we don’t discuss the future.”
Real mature, Noa. Real mature.
But yeah, I kinda needed to go to the bathroom now.
Toward the end of August, I decided I’d had enough. Reese had posted a party schedule on our website, and there were several I wanted to attend with Noa.
So I submitted a ticket in his name to have him included as a member of House Mclean. It was the first time I’d used my membership to invite someone else. Each member had three invites, except for Ivy, a social butterfly who Reese called our sassafras recruiter. She was good at finding new kinksters and had unlimited invites.
While our community weighed heavily on the LGBTQ side of sexual orientation, we had plenty of straight members too, and Ivy loved to play matchmaker. If she noticed a group of primarily gay members that was struggling to find a partner, she attended kink parties all over DC to recruit more options.
I just wanted to recruit my boyfriend.
A message popped up on my phone as I placed some bread in the toaster, and I thought that was quick. Was Reese already responding to the ticket? But speak of the devil… It was Ivy texting to confirm our lunch plans next week.