Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 98736 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98736 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
“He doesn’t know, Rome. You spoil me. You take care of me in ways I never knew I needed.”
I hate I won’t be the man to give her everything her heart desires.
“Didn’t take long for me to realize there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you just to see you smile.”
“You’re really good at taking care of me. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. That’s the hardest part. The connection we have, it’s deep. So deep I don’t know that I can ever get past it.”
“I won’t. Never, Emerson. There will never be anyone in my life who I care about as much as I care about you.”
My breath shudders in my chest when I realize I never told her I’m in love with her. I thought we had time. I was going to make it special, but now, I can’t see telling her, knowing that this isn’t progressing. Telling her now would be selfish.
Loving Emerson will be a secret I’ll hold in my heart until the day I die.
I’ll never stop loving her.
“Maybe prolonging this will just make it harder.”
“It doesn’t matter when, baby girl. It’s going to fucking suck.”
“Can we still talk?”
“Every day.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.” It’s going to kill me to take us back to just being friends, but I love her too much. The alternative is losing her only family, and I can’t do it. I can’t be the reason for that.
“So, tonight.”
No. No. No.
I swallow back that reply and to say the right thing, even if the words taste like acid on my tongue. “Tonight.”
“Set the alarm on your phone.”
“What time?”
“Six, I guess. I don’t want to risk him finding me down here.”
I do as she says, setting the alarm, and pulling her back into my arms. “I hate this, Emerson.”
“I hate it too, but we knew this was a possibility, right? I mean, you’ve been worried about this from the beginning, and while I think Forrest can go fuck himself where we are concerned, I get it. I hate it, but I get it.”
“I don’t know of another way.”
“Yeah,” she agrees. “If I’m being honest, I know you’re right. He’s stubborn where I’m concerned. He has this vision of what he thinks my life should look like. Maybe in another life.”
“Then I might not have met you. I met you through your brother. So I’d like to keep this life and the memories of you being mine.”
“I think I’ll always be yours, Roman. I don’t think my heart knows any other way.”
“Our hearts are on the same page.”
She’s quiet and I think she’s finally fallen asleep. “Rome?”
“Yeah, baby girl?”
“Don’t let go, okay? Just for tonight. Don’t let go.”
I tighten my arms around her. “I’m right here.”
I love you.
I stare at the clock and watch as every minute rolls into the next. I hold her, just as I promised. When my alarm goes off, I’m wide awake. I hate to wake her up. I don’t want to leave this basement. This is the last time I’ll ever have the love of my life in my arms.
Fuck.
I hate doing the right thing. It hurts so fucking much. Knowing I have to stay strong for her, I shake her awake gently. “Baby girl, it’s time to go up to your room.”
She nods and hugs me tightly. “Even with the distance, these have been the best moments of my life. The time that I was yours.”
You’re always going to be mine. In my heart, you’re mine.
“Mine too,” I say instead.
She sits up, and I follow her lead as she climbs out of bed. I lace her fingers with mine and walk her to the steps. The ache in my chest intensifies.
“We’ll figure this out,” she tells me. “A new normal for us, but we’ve got this. Right?”
“Yeah, baby girl. We’ve got this.” I press a kiss to her temple and release her hand. My eyes follow her as she takes each step, walking away from me.
Chapter
Twenty
Emerson
* * *
Roman kept his word. We’ve talked every day. I still end my day talking to him. It hurts, but I’ve learned something about Roman Bailey during my short time as his girl, as he liked to call me. He’s this tatted-up badass that feels deep in his soul. He loves me, my brother, and the rest of the guys. I also know that he cares for me; he might even love me. Sometimes I’m certain he does. However, love doesn’t seem to be enough. The situation that we’re in is difficult because of who I am to Forrest. I know that. We knew that going into this, but Roman, he’s one of those guys who would rather suffer in silence if he knew that someone he cared about was spared the pain.
The problem is for us, the only one being spared any pain is my brother.
We’re both hurting. We’re struggling to navigate this new friends-only situation we’ve found ourselves in.