Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 98736 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98736 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
“Me either.”
Knowing that she loves lying next to me, skin to skin, I tug off my T-shirt and climb into bed, patting the spot next to me. She does the same, stripping out of her T-shirt and bra before joining me. I curl my arm around her, bringing her to my chest.
The blinds are pulled shut, so my room is dark, regardless of the sun shining high in the sky today. Running my fingers through her hair, I try to memorize this moment. You’d think I was losing her forever, by the heavy beat of my heart in my chest. I’ve never had anxiety, but this ache, that has to be it.
It’s not heartbreak, right? I’m not losing her. She’s just going back to school. In less than a year, we’ll be right back here.
Permanently.
At least I hope that’s the case. I’m giving her this last year to finish school, but when she comes home, I want her to come home to me.
“How do you feel about taking a year off to move to Lexington?” she asks. Her voice is thick, and although I hear a bit of humor, her tone is still laced with sadness.
“I would if you needed me, but you don’t.”
She lifts her head. “I do need you.”
“That’s not what I meant, baby girl. You’re fierce and determined, and I’d just be in your way. I know this is your last year, and you need to focus on that. You’re there getting an education to obtain the career of your dreams, and I’ll be here living mine, keeping this spot right here next to me warm for you.”
“Just me?”
“Of course just you. Is that what has you so upset? You’re afraid I’m going to replace you? You’re the first woman to be in this bed, and you’ll be the last.” I know it’s a big declaration, but the words tumbled out before I could stop them.
Not that I wanted to.
I’m telling her the truth. I can’t even imagine anyone else owning this spot next to me other than her.
“It took me all summer to wear you down. I’ll be gone longer than that.”
I pick up her hand that’s resting on my chest and bring it to my lips. “Just you. Always you.” No matter what happens between us, whatever the outcome, I know without an ounce of doubt that no one will ever love her like I do. The other side of that is that I’ll never love anyone else, not like I love her.
Oh, fuck!
I’m in love with her.
My arms hold her a little tighter. I knew I was falling harder every day, but it’s the first time I’ve actually thought the words. Do I tell her before she leaves? Do I wait to see what this first separation does to us? Fuck, why are love and relationships so complicated?
“What are you thinking about?”
“You.”
“You tensed up.”
I turn to my side, and she does the same, facing me. “I’ve been open with you throughout all of this. I never once denied that I wanted you. I know we’re lying to everyone else, but, baby girl, I’ve never lied to you.”
She nods. “I know. And I hate that we’re lying too, but between my age and my brother, we have enough against us without adding the pressure of me going back to school.”
“When you come home, after you graduate, we’ll tell them.”
Even through the sadness, I can see the sparkle in her emerald eyes. She likes the idea, which takes some of the weight off my shoulders. She’s in this. I’m in this.
Resting my hand on her cheek, I stare into her eyes, and I know this moment is one I’ll always remember. Every moment with her is one that I’ve captured in my mind and hope to never forget.
“That’s a good plan. That way, you won’t be here to deal with the aftermath all on your own.”
“It’s not too late to change your mind. We have some time.”
“I think we need that time, Rome, but not because I don’t think that this is going to work out. No, we need the time to grow closer. The distance is going to be tough, and we don’t need all the other added pressures.”
“My girl is beautiful and smart.”
She laughs just as I intended for her to. Her hand travels down my abs, and I know what she’s after. My cock is rock solid for her, but we’re not going there.
“Not today,” I tell her.
“I want to.”
“I know, baby girl, and trust me, I love your hands on me. I crave it, but we don’t have much time left, and I’m not sending you back to college unsatisfied. Besides, what we have growing between us is more than the physical. Just let me hold you because it’s going to be far too long before I can do this again.”