Total pages in book: 247
Estimated words: 248926 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1245(@200wpm)___ 996(@250wpm)___ 830(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 248926 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1245(@200wpm)___ 996(@250wpm)___ 830(@300wpm)
“I don't.”
“Why do you think you cannot remember?”
“Because I don't ever want to think about shit like that. Would you?”
She looked away. “I understand more than you know, Emily.”
Did something happen to her too?
Baba spoke, “Regardless, we have a natural way to resolve trauma in our bodies.”
“Then, why didn't my body resolve it?”
“I do not know, Emily.” She shook her head. “Think of it this way. A big dog chases a boy. He thinks the dog is going to hurt him. His mother rushes out. Maybe, the dog goes the other way or is restrained.”
“Okay.”
“But, there is still trauma of that incident for the boy. So. . .what does his mother do?”
“She hugs him.”
“Yes.” Baba smiled. “Like you do with Paolo. You hug and comfort him. And now his body triggers healing and calm. Did you. . .”
“What?”
Baba took out her keys. “Did you receive a lot of comfort from your parents?”
I shrugged. “I barely remember them.”
Sadness filled Baba's eyes. “No comforting memories of your mother or father?”
“I don't like to think of them or anything from that time.”
“Why not?”
“My mom died. Dad didn't properly mourn her. Plus, he had no patience with us. And I was a difficult kid. Then. . .there was the fire. He died in that along with. . .Max's dad and others.” My hands were already fisted, but I squeezed my fingers even harder until they began to ache. “Then. . .shit gets foggy.”
“But what else do—?”
“How do I get rid of Lunita?”
“Emily, you should be able to heal the trauma and release a lot of it from your body, but. . .”
I frowned. "But what?"
“I am not sure we can completely get rid of Lunita.”
My eyes watered. “She has to go.”
“And what if it is impossible?”
“I'm not rolling with that.”
“We are going too far down the road. Let us first begin with healing your trauma.” She stopped at a door and took out her keys. “Have you made progress with Maxwell?”
“In what way?”
“Have you held his hand or—”
“No.”
Baba placed the key in the knob. “When will you?”
“Soon.”
“Touching him will help a lot.”
“I don't like the way you’re wording that.” It felt like bugs crawling over my skin. I unfisted my hands and rubbed the sensation away from my arms.
“You must understand that Maxwell can help heal you.”
"I want to leave him out of this." I rubbed my arms some more. “Max needs healing too.”
“His healing you will heal him.” She unlocked the door, but didn't walk in. “Do you understand, Emily?”
“I have already taken so much from Max. I can't take more—”
“You can, and you must.” Baba gave me a sad smile. “If you do it, then you will help Maxwell and you.”
I shivered.
“Now, do you understand?”
“Yes.”
Baba turned around. “Now. . .let’s look into your future.”
Chapter 25
The Black Mouse
Emily
Please, God. Let this reading hold hope and positivity.
Baba opened the door.
A cozy office greeted my eyes. A large wooden desk sat in the center of the room with two soft chairs on either side. Tons of paintings of dragons and knights as well as women in candlelit castle halls, decorated the walls.
I glanced at the painting with two dragons facing each other and looking like they were about to battle. One had bright white scales that shimmered in the sun. The other was midnight black and shooting out fire. It's tail coiled, ready to strike.
I went over to the chair and sat down.
Tons of boxes were stacked in the back of the room. Kaz's men must have rushed to pack all of her things when he evacuated.
Baba lowered into her chair. “How do you feel, Emily?”
“Like shit.”
“Why?”
“Baba, I just shot women over Paolo after being frightened that he was gone forever. Not to mention the fact that I'm. . .”
“What?”
“I'm really sad about. . .” Suddenly, tears left my eyes, and I lost all control of my emotions.
What the fuck is going on with me?
Baba reached her hand over the desk.
"I'm fine. It's all good." I wiped the tears.
"What's wrong?"
“I'm just sad about Kaz killing my men. But maybe. . .you know. . .maybe I'm just sad overall about everything—”
“Being sad about your men and about everything else is perfectly fine.”
“It's just that I don't usually cry about these things.” I rubbed my eyes.
“Don't forget that you are pregnant.”
My nerves flared. “I'm not ready to have a baby."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not. . .”
“Why aren't you, Emily?”
“I'm not suitable enough to be a mother.”
“You will find that many women aren't suitable or even ready, yet they become mothers. Some do a decent job. Others. . .well. . .we won't talk about the others.”
“I don't want to ruin my kid's life.”
“I see you with Paolo.” She smiled. “You will be a wonderful mother.”
“That's only because Paolo keeps me calm. That makes me feel guilty too. Is that bad?”