Total pages in book: 247
Estimated words: 248926 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1245(@200wpm)___ 996(@250wpm)___ 830(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 248926 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1245(@200wpm)___ 996(@250wpm)___ 830(@300wpm)
I looked into Max’s piercing gaze and whispered, “Do you. . .want me to. . .let go?”
“No.”
“So. . .” I ran my hands up to his neck.
He shivered under my touch.
I kept my hand there. “We. . .should touch each other more.”
“Says who?”
“Says Baba and. . .me. . .”
“But, how do you truly feel?” He looked down at the bed. “Do you want to vomit?”
“No.”
He looked back at me. “No?”
“Not at all.”
“Then. . .maybe you are healing. . .”
“Maybe.” I inhaled and exhaled over and over, revving myself up.
“Wait a minute, Em. I see that determined look.” He raised his eyebrows. “What are you about to do?”
You can do it.
Max slowly shook his head. “Em?”
“I’m going to hug you.”
“Listen. You need to take this one step at a time.”
Do it. You got this.
“Em.” Terror filled Max’s eyes. “I’m serious.”
“Why do you look more scared than me?”
“Because, man. You know why.”
“I don’t. Tell me why?”
“When you’ve tried before, you threw up on the ground.” Max moved his view back to the bed. “Do you have any idea how that made me feel?”
“That was then. This is now.”
Go ahead. Quick. Hug him. Just. . .lean in. . .
I blew out a long breath and inched closer.
“Oh, shit.” Max seized back a little. “You better not throw up on my bed.”
Harlem barked from the ground as if cheering us on.
“Yo, Em. Maybe we should just keep it at one touch for tonight.”
“Be quiet.” I edged closer. “I’m concentrating.”
“Holy fuck. You’re really going to do it.” He closed his eyes, and I wrapped my shivering arms around him.
And this hug was. . .infinite. It was an enveloping of healing power. A glowing intimacy within the darkness of my soul. It was immortal. Overwhelming, yet also somehow subdued. Erasing and savoring. It was swelling emotions, breaking through the binds of pain that had bricked up around my heart for so long.
I swore I felt this popping in my chest. This gasping of my heart. This cleaning of my insides.
This hug. . .
it was. . .
everything and nothing,
everywhere and nowhere,
but most of all. . .
it was love.
Sighing, Max put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him, encasing me further in this ancient heat of humanity—this poetic exchange of sensations.
I trembled against him and couldn’t move away. I loved his warmth, his energy. His scent of marijuana and lemons and spicy cologne all in one.
Tears brimmed near my eyelids.
Embarrassed, I tried to hold it in, but couldn’t.
And there, I sobbed in his hold. I lost myself in his warmth, loving him more than I ever had before.
Max tightened the hug. “I love you, Em.”
My throat grew hoarse. “I love you too.”
Chapter 37
Pancakes
Kazimir
In my dream, lions lurked and roared. They had huge paws and sharp, pointed claws. Their eyes glowed, and their golden manes fluttered in the breeze.
Snarling, I walked toward them as a lion myself, ready to pounce on any one of them that sought to challenge me. Each time my paw touched the ground, the world vibrated and thunder crackled in the darkening sky.
All the lions stepped out of the way, clearing a path for me to walk through.
That was when I noticed a breathtaking lioness among them. She was unlike any other. Smooth, black fur coated her sleek body. Her eyes were different too—one pupil was black and the other was silver.
Blood dripped from her claws.
My breath caught in my throat.
I yearned for her instantly.
Preparing to dominate her, I prowled her way, determined and desperate.
Intelligence flickered in her eyes. She did not back away. Instead, she bared her fangs as if daring me to come forward and meet my doom at her claws.
The air around us buzzed with life and energy.
Then, she leapt my way.
Roaring, I jumped up to teach her about the power of an alpha.
It was in that moment when I woke up.
No. What happened next?
I yawned and blinked my eyes open.
For a moment I was confused.
A young Pavel sat up in bed and stared at me.
No.
I tensed.
Y-you’re dead.
My heart pounded against my ribs, strong and fast.
Is this your ghost haunting me?
Then, he fluttered those long lashes and pointed to the empty pillow between us. A soft voice left his lips. “Mysh?”
I stared him in shock.
Wait. . .It is Paolo. Why did I think. . .
The boy tapped the pillow with his tiny hand as if trying to help me understand. “Mysh?”
I forgot. I let Paolo sleep with us.
I sat up. Pain pulsed at my temples.
No more vodka, and absolutely no more marijuana.
I stretched my arms.
Paolo widened his eyes as if he were worried I was going to grab him.
I lowered my arms and studied him.
Am I really going to have us keep him?
Avoiding my gaze, the boy turned his view to his tiny hands and tapped his thumb against his palm.