Total pages in book: 224
Estimated words: 215705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1079(@200wpm)___ 863(@250wpm)___ 719(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 215705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1079(@200wpm)___ 863(@250wpm)___ 719(@300wpm)
“What does that mean?” I repeat, thankfully I’ve found my brain again. “I know and it should? I should be uneasy about trusting you?”
He drags me to him. “You can trust me. Absolutely trust me. What it means is that we need to fuck and you need to stop overthinking everything. We’ll figure it all out. I will make it work out. And like it or not, you’re going to have to trust me.” He kisses me and then drags my shirt over my head, and his hand on my breast distracts me enough that my pants are quickly off as well.
“Reid, damn it,” I murmur as he pulls me in the shower and shoves me in the corner, his big body protecting mine from the spray of water at his back. “Fuck me like you hate me,” he says, lifting my leg and pressing inside me, his hand cupping my face. “Then hate will feel so damn good, you’ll forget why it matters.” His mouth closes down on mine, and he thrusts into me again.
I decide that if this is his version of hate, I’ll take it.
Chapter forty-five
Reid
I’m just finishing off the last swipe of my razor at the bathroom sink, Carrie next to me at the second sink, when her eyes meet mine in the mirror. She gives me a shy smile when she is so far from shy, but it’s these contradictions in Carrie, the small little things that make her her, that draw me to her. She glances away and runs her fingers through her wet hair. I’m starting to think obsession isn’t the right word for what I feel for this woman. It’s more. It’s so much more.
I wipe my face and she turns on the hairdryer, this kind of intimacy with a woman is not something I’d have considered in the past, but there is no hesitation in me to be here with her like this. I don’t want to be without this woman. She’s changing me, and I don’t even care. I’ve stopped asking myself why everything is different with Carrie. I’m not even going to ask how this happened anymore. It just did. She happened. And I’ve stopped trying to save her from me. It’s too late. She can’t be saved. I won’t let her be saved. Not from me.
I walk over to her and kiss her despite the hairdryer blasting and brush my thumb over her kiss-dampened lip. I don’t say anything. I like that I don’t have to say anything with Carrie. She doesn’t need some false sense of security in words. She doesn’t force me to say things I’m not ready to say. She doesn’t force me to be anything but a better man, and that’s what this is. I’m better with this woman. I know this. I think she does, too. The problem is that she doesn’t know what I am without her. She’ll know if she ever finds out the truth of that debt.
Feeling that certainty like a punch in my gut, I leave her to finish her routine and walk into the bedroom to dress in gray Diesel jeans and a gray Diesel T-shirt and boots, trying not to think of that debt. I fucking hate the way I’m legally bound not to tell her, but if I do, she’ll go to her father, and he’ll come at my family. I fucking would if I were her. It’s too personal. She’ll be too upset not to react. I run my hand through my hair. The hairdryer turns off and I walk to the bathroom door and just seeing her there in her robe, looking beautiful and just so damn her, guts me for one reason: I want her and I’m going to lose her, and I can’t stop it from happening.
“Hey, baby,” I say when she looks at me with those perfect emerald green eyes. “I’m going to check in with Royce on Elijah and see what this place looks like in daylight.”
“Okay,” she says softly. “I won’t be long.”
I cross the room and pull her to me, all her soft curves pressed to every spot I can get her. “Good.” I stroke her cheek. “I want you with me, Carrie. You know that, right?”
“I’m starting to figure that out.”
“Say what I want you to say.”
“I want to be with you, Reid, but don’t make me hate you. Please. Stop trying to make me feel hate. I don’t want to feel whatever it is you’re making me feel and then have it turn into that.”
I want her to tell me what I make her feel, but then I’d have to tell her what I feel and I’m not ready to name this feeling. I don’t think she really is either. What I want, so damn badly at this moment is to tell her everything. “Hurry downstairs,” I urge, kissing her firmly on the mouth and then turning away, a plan to expose all I can legally to Carrie tonight now in my mind. Somehow she doesn’t know our fathers are enemies. She deserves to know, but I know this will convince her I came at her company as an enemy when that’s simply not the case. I can only hope that once she’s around Cat and Gabe together, she’ll see that isn’t the case. I won’t let my father, or anyone else, hurt her or her company.