Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 357(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 238(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 357(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 238(@300wpm)
I can’t tell him that, because it’s too big. I can’t tell him that he makes me feel…beautiful and maybe even… worthwhile.
It’s stupid. He wouldn’t understand, because I don’t. Logically, I know I have worth. I know that I’m not stupid, that I am a good person. But, I’ve found no matter how much I try to reason with myself, it’s the darkness inside, the festering wounds left there by the people I love that always win.
Always make me feel… less.
Until Noah.
Still, I feel the need to remind him of something. Something I’ve found to be true over and over. Because there have been times in my life that I thought I held it, but I was wrong. There was always ugly waiting for me.
“Beauty fades, Noah,” I murmur, my gaze locked with his.
“Not your kind of beauty, Rory. Not in a million years,” he quietly insists. “Your kind of beauty is clean through to the heart.”
I rise up over him, tears sliding from my eyes, but I can’t worry about them.
Not right now.
I sling my leg over him, so that I’m straddling him, and I slide down just enough so his cock is pressing against the center of me.
Right where I need him most.
I stay on my knees, my hand wrapping around his semi-erect cock.
“Rory?” he questions, his hands going to my hips and his eyes going smoky.
I squeeze him, feeling his cock harden as I stroke him, our gazes never leaving each other.
“I don’t want coffee, Noah.”
“Okay, Gorgeous,” he says, searching my face.
“I only want you,” I tell him unnecessarily, as I guide him to my entrance and slowly lower onto him.
“Then take me,” he encourages.
He hisses a breath through his teeth as I take him all the way in, his hard cock stretching me, my wetness covering him, my inner muscles contracting and holding his shaft tightly.
“Noah,” I moan, rocking back and forth on him, my hips beginning to move.
“So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs.
“Noah,” I cry, riding him slowly, but moving so I can feel him deep inside of me, filling me, scraping against my inner walls…
Possessing me to the point that I know without a doubt he’s leaving his own kind of scars. Scars that will never heal, but these scars aren’t black. These scars are made of pure beauty.
“My beautiful Rory,” he murmurs, his hand wrapping around the side of my neck and bringing me in close. His tongue thrusting into my mouth just as hot, just as slow and just as sweet as his cock is inside of me. “Mine,” he gasps against my mouth.
“Yours,” I whisper, kissing him again, knowing that to Noah they might just be words, but to me… they’re the beautiful truth.
31
Diesel
“Noah!” Rory laughs when I dip her nose with whipped cream.
“Dad, you’re always telling me not to play with my food,” Ryan points out.
“Sometimes playing with your food is fun, Ry,” I tell him with a wink at Rory. She instantly blushes. She’s no doubt remembering our fun time yesterday while Ryan was in school.
I know I am.
It’s been a month and a half of this life. A month and a half I like. I keep looking for signs that Rory is anyone but who she claims to be, but I’ve not found it. Every day all I see is Rory and despite the caution I try to take, she slips behind my walls a little more.
She’s open, loving, hilarious at times, stubborn, sassy and a million other things. Most of all she gives with her heart. Ryan has flourished with her attention in ways I never expected. When I watch the two of them it becomes crystal clear that Violet never cared for Ryan. She would pretend in front of me, but not once did I see real interaction between them. Why this wasn’t a red flag earlier on, I’m not sure. Maybe because I never had it, I’ve never seen it given to Ryan either so I didn’t know what to look for. I should have. I’m pissed at myself because I didn’t. Dani gives that to children her and Crusher have brought into their family. Hell, she even gives it to Ryan, I just never dissected it before.
Dani also never liked Violet—none of the old ladies did. Why couldn’t I have seen it? Why in the fuck was I so blind?
“Rory? Why do you always call Dad, No’uh?” Ryan asks and I drag my thoughts back to the here and now.
“Because it would be silly to call him daddy, silly. He’s your dad, not mine,” she laughs. “You better hurry and eat your pancakes or you’ll be late for school.”
It seems unreal to me that there’s a woman interested about Ryan getting to school on time. A little more of that fear that I keep wrapped around my heart seems to disappear. Things feel safe with Rory. I feel safe with Rory, safe enough to let her be near Ryan and let him care about her.