Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 118042 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 590(@200wpm)___ 472(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118042 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 590(@200wpm)___ 472(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
We hadn’t told anyone that we’d officially gotten engaged. It was our little secret until we had time to plan a wedding and say the vows we’d already said each night we fell into each other’s arms.
However, this might hurry along those plans.
I felt a little dizzy at the thought of telling him.
How silly we’d both been.
Irresponsible really.
I blamed happiness for making me forget. But a small part of me wondered if fate had played a small role.
As Henri stepped over the threshold of the guest room and found me framed in sunshine, his handsome face lost its harsh, hollow angles as his grey eyes turned into molten pools of silver. “There you are. Everything ready for our guest?”
I nodded. My mouth suddenly dry.
My fingers linked over my belly, shielding the surprise, trying my best to figure out how to tell him. Even armed with new words and helpful cues that I’d learned from my online psychology course, I had no idea where to begin.
“I, eh…I have something to tell you.”
For a moment, shadows cloaked him. Blackness claimed him. He stalked around the room as if searching for a threat, but then his eyebrows knotted as his gaze landed on my linked fingers.
And…fate prevented me from having to say anything, after all.
Staggering backward, he crashed against the wall. “You’re not…no.” Raking a shaking hand through his hair, he shook his head. “You can’t be. The injection—”
“Melanie administered that over a year ago. She said it was only valid for six months. It was stupid of me not to think about contraception, but I honestly totally forgot. We’ve been so busy…”
“Oh fuck.” Sliding down the wall, his knees came up. Wedging his elbows on them, he buried his face in his hands. “Y-You’re pregnant?”
Crouching down in front of him, I tugged his hands away from his eyes. “I took a test this morning.”
“And?”
“It’s positive.”
He groaned and hung his head. “But…I can’t. I can’t pass on this—this curse to anyone else. I just…I can’t.”
I smiled softly, ignoring the kick of fear. “I’ve seen you write back to Rachel in the group chat. Asher might’ve been half made by Victor, but his genes have nothing to do with his future. You said that yourself.”
Slowly, he reached for me and dragged me onto his lap. “But…you told Victor that you’d leap off a roof if I ever got you pregnant. I know things are different between us now but…you didn’t want this. You didn’t want a child with me.” Terror made him rush. “I never wanted to hurt you, Ily. And now I’ve gone and done the one thing that will guarantee you pure agony. Shit. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking—”
“Hey.” I planted my hand over his mouth, shutting him up. “Henri, listen to me.” I sucked in a breath. “I love you. Everything you just said—and I don’t mean this in a nasty way—is absolutely ridiculous. How could you even think I wouldn’t want your child after what we’ve been through? What we’ve done and shared and become? I don’t blame you for getting me pregnant. It’s just one of those things that’s happened. We were both irresponsible. And now that it has happened…” I blushed. “I want this. Very, very badly. And you’re scaring me that perhaps you don’t, and I honestly don’t know what that means for us and—”
Slapping his palm over my mouth, he pulled mine away from his. “Seems we’re both being a bit ridiculous.”
I went to tug his gag off me, but he dug his fingers into my cheeks. “I love you with every shred of my soul, Ily. You want the truth? Until this very second, I’d never envisioned myself as a father. Who am I to even think of multiplying? But with you? You’re the best person I know. You’d balance out all the shit inside me and I’m not afraid that our child would end up like me. I know they’d be all you, and it would be my honour to protect both of you.”
I jerked my head back, dislodging his hold. “Then what’s the problem?”
“The problem?” He sighed heavily. “The problem is…I already have too much. I don’t deserve this. It’s too much. I…” He glanced at his hands. “I’ve got blood all over me, little nightmare. I can’t—”
Fear pricked my heart. I leaned back in his embrace. Terror I hadn’t felt since the island crashed through me like ice. “You mean…even though you want this…you don’t want it at the same time? I know we’ve never had that conversation but…”
“Don’t want?” His eyes shot wide. “Don’t deserve. How am I supposed to survive that level of happiness when I can barely survive you?” He pressed a fist to his chest. “My heart threatens to pop every time I look at you. Every time I come home to you, I almost sob like a fool.” Cupping my cheek, he whispered, “I’m so fucking lucky. I’ve already been given so much. Too much. If I have anything else, it might get taken away and—”