Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
“Wow. Did I just hear right? You’re scared of dating Haven?”
Rolling my eyes, I sighed. “Don’t tease me right now, Josh.”
He held up his hands as if in defeat. “I’m not teasing you, Nate. I think this is big. It takes a lot to admit you have feelings for Haven, but to say you’re scared of hurting her takes guts. It’s about time, though.”
“I don’t know. Knowing I was about to tell her and seeing that guy show up made me realize that I almost set myself up for failure. What if I had told her, and she said she didn’t feel the same way?”
He smiled softly. “And what if she said she did?”
With a shake of my head, I said, “It’s complicated, Josh.”
“Then explain it to me, Nate.”
I sighed. “That night in the barn, when things were getting heavy, I was ready to go all the way until I remembered what happened to her. And I couldn’t do that to her, and I didn’t know how to tell her that. To tell her that if we did this, I wasn’t sure I would be able to commit myself to her. Hell, I was only eighteen, and what if I slept with her and that just scratched an itch for me, but meant more to her? I didn’t want to see that hurt in her eyes. So I freaked and told her it was a mistake. That what we were doing had been a mistake. You didn’t see the look of hurt on her face. She looked like she hated me in that moment, and I have a feeling she thinks I stopped for another reason altogether.”
“Why didn’t you just tell her the truth?”
“I tried, but she left without giving me a chance to explain.”
“She doesn’t hate you now, Nate. You don’t see the way she looks at you.”
Frowning, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“When Haven doesn’t think anyone is watching her, she stares at you like she is longing for something. I’m going to guess that something is you.”
“She stayed with me the other night and never once made it seem like she wanted anything from me.”
“Did you make any moves on her? You even said she fell asleep in your arms, and you put her in the guest bedroom.”
“I wasn’t about to put her in my room! I would never presume she would want to sleep in my bed.”
Josh grinned. “And that would make Granddad pretty damn proud of you. You did what any gentleman would do, but look at it from Haven’s point of view. If she is still attracted to you, she might have seen that as another example of how you’re not interested in her. You also go out of your way to crack jokes and poke fun at her.”
“Because it was easier to have her dislike me than to look at me with those sad eyes of hers.”
Josh shook his head. “You might as well pay me that thousand dollars we bet. You should see yourself right now. You’ve got it bad, Nate.”
I sighed and said, “Fuck you, Josh.”
He laughed, took the truck out of Park, and headed toward the main barn as I stared out the window and wondered what in the hell I should do now. I had finally been ready to admit my feelings for Haven, and now I wasn’t sure what I should do.
A week had passed since Haven had stayed the night at my house. In that time I had done nothing but dream of her when I was asleep, and thought of her when I was awake. Every time I thought about her crying, I wanted to punch a hole in the wall. A small part of me wondered if some of her pain was still from what her father did to her, and that made me feel sick. I had almost asked her if she ever went to a therapist for what happened to her. Someone to talk to about it. It couldn’t be good to hold that all up inside of you. Countless nights I closed my eyes and pictured her as a scared little girl whose father hurt her.
“Fucking asshole,” I said as I pulled into Hank’s garage and parked my truck. I had tossed and turned all night, thinking of what I could do to help ease some of Haven’s stress. It was why I was now standing at the door.
“Are you going to just stand there or come in, Nate?” Hank asked, causing me to turn and see him at the open bay of one of the garages.
“Hey, Hank,” I replied, reaching out to shake his hand.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked, a smirk appearing at the corners of his mouth.
“Why do I get the feeling you know why I’m here?”
He laughed. “It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see how you reacted when I offered to give Haven a ride home, or how you look at her.”