Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“I know that’s what I want. To be married one day. I want to be pregnant and work in my garden, growing my own vegetables. I want to go on vacation once a year to a fancy destination and have sex in every city with my husband.” I take in a shaky breath. Because as much as I believe him that Cinita is finally gone, can I really believe that we’ll want the same thing in five, ten, fifteen years’ time? I’m sure that’s a risk in any relationship, but with Alek it’s more intense. “I want all of that, Alek. So while this is fun, what you and I have, it’s never going to last.
“I know what I want, and you don’t. That’s not a bad thing, it just means we need to end it before it gets out of hand.”
“And what if I would never accept you with someone else?”
“Would you kill them simply because you couldn’t have me?” He just gives me a pointed look. “That’s crazy, Alek.”
“Aleksandr,” he says, correcting me on his name.
“It’s crazy,” I say again.
“Is it crazy to want someone so badly you would kill for them?” he asks. He leans closer. “I want you, so fucking much.” My breathing gets heavier at his touch, and I close my eyes because this is everything I want to hear, but I know I should run. It won’t last. Better it hurt now than destroy me in the future. He shouldn’t be able to do this to me.
But he is.
“No other relationship could ever compare to what we have. You get that, right? One day when you’re married and fucking your shit of a husband, you’ll think back and wish it was me who was fucking you.”
I gasp as my eyes fly open, surprised by the desperate plea in his voice.
“I might not be sure about kids now, and I know I’m fucked up…” My stomach twists as I wait for him to continue. “But I could be a husband. Your husband. I’ll be your biggest fan. If children are something you really want…” He swallows. “I wouldn’t be a good father.”
I brush my hand over his cheek. “Have you ever thought of the possibility?”
He stares at me longingly, and it breaks me. “I never thought I’d be capable of loving someone as much as I do you. So maybe, if you can teach me.”
My heart stops, and I can’t breathe. Butterflies flitter throughout my stomach. “Did you just say you love me, Alek?”
“Is it so wrong?” he asks. “I just can’t let you go. I refuse. I will make every promise, take every vow, and tell you I love you every day, just to remind you how right it is for me to stand by your side. We’re made for each other, Lena. I always thought killing was my only purpose in this life, until I met you.”
My bottom lip trembles. “Alek, you’ve put me through hell.”
“I know I’m not easy, but I will give you everything you ask of me, Lena. I’ll even send you cards.”
I can’t help but laugh at that, stupid tears springing to my eyes.
“I can’t be second best, Alek. You can’t make me feel second to anyone again. My heart just can’t take it anymore.”
“I’ll fucking worship the ground you walk on. I never meant to hurt you, Lena, I swear it.”
I hate how easily his words lift me up. But they can so quickly destroy me too. “I can’t do another roller coaster, Alek.”
His body goes rigid, like his entire world has just come to a crashing end, and my heart breaks. Because this man has somehow become my everything. And it’s terrifying, as much for me as it is for him.
“But we’ll try. One more time,” I say as I press my lips to his. I feel his breath against my lips as the tension drains out of him and he desperately consumes me.
“I need you,” he growls as his hands skim up my outer thighs, and a shiver runs down my spine because I know without a doubt that I fucking need him more.
CHAPTER 43
Lena
“And that’s what you call a flush,” I say, laying down my cards with a smirk. “Take it off.”
Alek sighs as he throws his cards into the center of the mattress. So far, I’ve only lost one hand, and all that came off was my earrings.
Alek, however, is down to… well, after removing his loose pj pants… nothing. He sits comfortably naked at the end of my bed. All masculine muscle with a semi-hard cock.
I bite my bottom lip, realizing I really lost out on this game.
“Anya doesn’t mind if you’re not at the auctions as often?” I ask as I collect the cards.
“Please don’t speak about my sister while I’m sitting on your bed naked, sunshine.”