Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
“Why?”
He sighed, wondering where to start. “My family was never as close as you and Shane are. My father was abusive to me growing up and my mother never tried to stop him.”
“Oh my God, Van. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“You couldn’t have. No one did. We were good at keeping it that way…and I don’t want to make it sound like I was beaten every day. I had everything I needed physically—more than I needed. But I knew to be afraid of my father. I knew that he expected me to be a certain thing and I wasn’t that. I knew if I messed up he would use his hands and words to make sure I understood it. And she…she made excuses for him.”
“Good God.” She raised a shaky hand to her mouth. “I’d like to give that woman a piece of my mind.”
“It is what it is. It’s over now. I left when I was eighteen and didn’t come back until now. But she still…let’s just say it’s not her favorite thing in the world to have a gay son, who is extremely proud of who he is and won’t ever hide it again. Add in my art and, well, that’s a little much for her. Maybe it would be okay if I could be myself quietly…properly.”
“What’s the fun in being proper?” she asked and Van grinned.
“My thoughts exactly.” He took another heavy breath. “So, no…she isn’t particularly proud of me. She doesn’t understand me and I don’t understand her.”
“But you still came here…for her.”
“I guess.” But maybe he’d come here for himself, too. To prove that he could still be the Van he’d grown into when he was in this environment. That he could be himself in Last Chance, without reverting to his old ways.
“And you’re leaving soon?” she asked softly. He’d expected it. Knew where she was going with it.
“Yes. My life is in Los Angeles. Technically, I should probably have already gone back. I didn’t plan to stay this long. Nothing has changed with me and my mom either.” He’d stayed because he enjoyed Shane. Because he wanted to be around him, but he couldn’t do that forever. He also couldn’t tell Annie that and give her any kind of false hope.
“I want more for Shane.”
“I know you do,” Van replied. “But he is happy. Don’t think he’s not.”
“He might be but he also shouldn’t be tied down because of me. He should have options.”
“He’s an adult. He makes his own decisions.” Van understood why Shane chose the way he did, but there were options. That goddamn big heart of his led him though. Van wished he could be more like that. Wished everyone was more like Shane.
They were quiet the rest of the way back to Last Chance. Van called Shane and let him know when Annie was home safe in her house.
“Are you heading to my place?” Shane asked. Van could hear an engine roar to life in the background.
“No yet,” he said, surprising himself. “I think I’m going to head to my mom’s.” Spending time with Annie made him think about their relationship.
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Shane replied and then, “Thank you again, for today. No one’s ever—”
“I know. It’s fine. You don’t have to thank me for anything.”
Van ended the call and then made the drive to his childhood home.
He frowned when he pulled into the driveway and saw another car parked in front. Van got out, his shoes crunching in the short gravel entryway that separated the circular drive from the walkway.
The second he stepped inside, he knew exactly who it was that was there.
“Hey, man. We were wondering where you were.” Jonathan hugged him as though they were the kind of friends who did that.
He pulled back to see his mom standing by the window.
“I was helping Shane take care of a few things.”
“How’s Annie doing?” his mom asked. There had never been a time he heard her ask about Shane’s mother.
“She’s doing well. What are you guys up to?”
“I’ll let your mom share the good news,” Jonathan replied.
Van looked at her, waiting. She moved away from the window and walked over to the couch where she put her hand on the back of the floral design. “Jonathan helped me find a place. I put my offer in about an hour ago. We’re putting the house on the market next. I’ll need to hire someone to come in and pack things up but—”
“I thought we were doing that?” Van asked, and damn it, it was the first time he realized he wanted that. Maybe needed it—to be able to put the past behind him with his mom.
“You don’t want to help me. You’ve been busy with that boy, every day anyway.”
“You said his name five minutes ago and now he’s ‘that boy’ again? And I tried. I came all the way up here to help you and—”