Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
“If you’re good.” Shane pulled the condom off and tossed it. The room smelled like sweat and sex and he inhaled, wanting to take it in.
“Who wants to be good?” Van finally replied and Shane realized he didn’t. Or maybe good wasn’t the word…he just didn’t want to be the same. He wanted to be different, he wanted to know what it was like, to pretend he was someone else…and Van gave it to him.
*
Shane couldn’t sleep.
After they’d had sex, Van had passed out. Shane hit the lights but continued to lie there, thinking. He couldn’t get the man beside him out of his head. It was a mixture of different elements for him. Part of it was the fact that he liked Van…enjoyed his company. Felt a connection to him, maybe because both of their pasts were hard and because they both had responsibilities to their families…or maybe it was just that they were both gay men who were attracted to each other. Inside, he knew it was more than that.
The other part of it wasn’t quite as specific to Van himself, but the fact that he represented a life Shane had never been allowed to have. One that he was curious about.
One he wanted to experience.
Van moaned and rolled away from him. He lay on his stomach with one leg bent. His ass was right there and Shane wanted it again. Wanted to rub his face against Van’s hairy thighs, spread his cheeks, and touch and play with his hole. He wanted to taste his dick and swallow his come from the source.
He wanted to see Van paint too…wanted to witness it. Wanted to know what his life was like. What made him tick?
And at those thoughts, he eased out of the bed, grabbed his phone, and slipped into his bathroom where he turned the water on for a shower.
It was late—the middle of the night. He wasn’t sure the exact time. If his mother woke up she would see another car parked there overnight for the first time in his life. How fucking sad was that?
Why didn’t he at least try to meet someone? Date long distance? Spend more time in Portland other than just going there to fuck or monthly appointments for his mom?
He realized then that he’d envied Maxwell growing up…and a part of him still envied Van. It was a different sort of envy, but it was there all the same.
Shane stepped under the spray of the shower and washed up. He didn’t linger. He’d only come in because he couldn’t sleep but the longer he was there, he saw he wanted back in the bed.
He washed his hair and body and stepped out.
Shane wiped the fog from the mirror and looked at himself as he dried off.
I’d take a photograph like this of you…just a tease. You’re fucking gorgeous and it would make people lose their minds, Shane.
Shane’s dick perked up slightly.
Goose bumps pebbled across his skin.
He thought about Van’s words. The way the other man looked at him.
About Van telling him each and every way he would have posed him for photographs when they were on the deck.
His pulse sped up. His skin got hot….
He wanted that. Christ, Shane really fucking wanted it. Wanted tonight to be about more than the small-town mechanic who played around with art in secret and took care of his mom.
Shane grabbed a navy blue towel from the rack and wrapped it around his waist. He opened the bathroom door, the light shone into the bedroom and right on Van…. Van who was awake, lying on his back and looking at Shane.
“Do you have regrets?” he asked sincerely. “I know our past is—”
“No,” Shane cut him off.
“Good. I didn’t think so…but I wanted to make sure. I don’t want to fuck up with you. Not again.”
Those words twisted up Shane’s insides more than he thought they would. Christ, Van really was a good man. “Did you mean it?” Shane asked.
“That I don’t want to fuck up?”
“No.” Shane shook his head. “That you’d like to photograph me.”
Van’s eyes practically glowed. He sat up in the bed, and looked hard, deep at Shane. “Yes. And I want you to know this isn’t something I do. I don’t typically blur the lines, but yes, I’d love to take photos of you. You’re fucking beautiful, Shane.”
He smiled. It wasn’t something he heard often—that he was beautiful. Men he met and fucked told him he was hot, or sexy or had a big dick. But they didn’t tell him he was beautiful. Not the way Van just did. “I’d like that.”
Van stood, grabbed his pants and pulled them on. “My camera is in the car. We’ll do it right now.”
And then he walked out of the room, turning the light on as he went, and leaving Shane to wait anxiously.