Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 425(@200wpm)___ 340(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 425(@200wpm)___ 340(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Laying my head back on the sofa cushion, I stared at the ceiling of my house. What had I done wrong? Why hadn’t he called me? He was the first guy I’d ever dated who didn’t go to my dad’s church, and that was one of my secret things on the dream board. Secret as in when my mom came to visit and asked me about what the items on my board represented, I left out that bit.
She was determined I was going to marry Haines Cadmen. For starters, I’d known Haines since I was three years old. Second, he bored me to tears. Getting through a conversation with him about teeth was worse than actually going to the dentist. And he was just that—a dentist.
While Mom thought Haines was the cream of the crop when it came to men in this town, I was doing all I could to dodge him. I did not want to hear about any more molars or root canals. He also did this thing with his nose, like he twitched it or something when he was talking. I didn’t know. It was just beyond annoying.
JB had no annoying traits, and he’d not once talked about teeth. Like me, he talked about horses. Thoroughbreds, to be specific. He was tall and handsome. When I said something, he seemed truly interested. I had his complete attention. He also drank beer and often cursed. It might be silly to someone else that I even liked that about him. But when you’d been raised as sheltered as I had been, then you craved something else. Anything beyond the walls of the church.
I had struggled with social anxiety most of my life. My mother was outgoing and chatty with everyone. Me, on the other hand? I was more withdrawn. Not because I wanted to be, but the idea of putting myself out there terrified me. A lot of it was childhood damage. I’d been awkward and nerdy. An easy target for kids to pick on. Even though I had been homeschooled, they had still managed to make fun of me. The pretty girls at the park would snicker and point at me when Mom took me there to play. Probably because of the hideous glasses my mother made me wear and the long shorts that covered my knees. My mom’s love of floral prints was the bane of my existence. My tops were all rather hideous. Although I had been a kid who had no control over all this, it had been difficult for me.
That girl was no longer, and although I didn’t look in the mirror every day, admiring myself, I knew I wasn’t terrible. Maybe a little plain, but not hard to look at. Reminding myself that I was an adult and no longer needed to hide behind a tree so no one saw me was something I had to do more often than I should.
But again, the dream board. Self-confidence and loving my body were up there. I was going to learn to love me for who I was this year.
And JB had been helping with that until he suddenly wasn’t. I believed it was called ghosting. Maybe that was unfair. He’d not been at work when I was there this week, and it could have just been his schedule, but he hadn’t called me either.
I wished I’d stopped by the bakery and picked up my favorite cookies before coming home. At least then, I’d have something to eat while I sulked. Having lemon crinkle cookies might have just helped. But then again, I’d bought them too many times lately. If I wanted to keep my job, I didn’t need to gain weight. I had upped my runs by three extra miles every day this week because of the cookies I’d eaten.
My phone dinged and lit up. Excitedly, I grabbed it, only to see Esther, my best friend’s, name. Not JB’s.
CAPRI JEWEL where are you? The Tellys’ cookout has already started! Haines is here and asked me where you were!
I rolled my eyes. Esther knew I did not like Haines, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t pushing him on me as much as my mother was. Jaiden Wilks had proposed to her six months ago. Since then, she had been determined to get me hitched too.
I have a migraine. I overdid it at the gym.
A lie, but there was no way I was going to the Tellys’ backyard barbecue. I had enough of hymns and Jesus on Sundays. When you grew up, being in church almost daily, it wore on you. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t even go on Sundays, but seeing as my parents would freak out if I didn’t and most likely have a prayer meeting for my soul, I went. Less drama.