Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 121153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
“No, what . . . ?” Judah asked, frowning.
“No to it all. I won’t repent.” Judah tried to snatch his hand from mine but I held on tight. “And repent for what, for saving us? Keeping the Cursed Sisters would have led to the Hangmen raiding our commune again. The Cursed Sisters are all betrothed, married or bearing children. They are no longer spiritually pure enough to be the prophet’s bride, even if we did get them back.” I took a much-needed breath and continued. “And I won’t stand by and allow children to be violated by grown men, Judah. I still believe in all of this, in our cause. But I will stop the practice of awakenings. It’s . . . barbaric. It’s just plain wrong!”
“No,” Judah replied through clenched teeth. “It is the way of the prophet, revealed to him by the Lord!” He pushed to his feet, ripping his hand from mine.
I fought with what to say next. I knew the impact it would have . . . I decided to say it anyhow. “I do not believe that practice was revealed by God. How would any God condone that?”
Judah’s eyes widened. “Now you choose?” Judah said and staggered back to sit on the stone steps. His eyes narrowed as he watched me, as though he was staring at a stranger. His face clouded over. “Now you choose to question the scriptures, at our most crucial and significant time? When I need you with me most?”
I stayed silent and stared back. Judah’s lip twitched in agitation. “Tell me,” Judah said and paused, drawing it all out. “If you had succeeded in getting the Cursed Salome to stay in the commune, would you be feeling these things?”
I felt as though my twin had punched me in the gut. He knew how I had felt about Mae. Now he was using it against me. Judah leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Well? Would you?”
I thought about his question, truly thought about it. I pictured Mae’s beautiful smile, her long dark hair and her ice-blue eyes—always my favorite feature. But then I closed my eyes and I saw her in Styx’s arms. I saw the way she looked at him. I saw the way she now looked at me. Pity, maybe even hatred.
Never love and respect.
What the hell was I doing?
Everything was a mass of confusion in my brain. I tried to imagine being married to Mae here in New Zion. I would never have taken another. But Mae would have never have suffered this life. She hated this place, and I had once loved her enough to not want it for her.
Hell, I had no idea what I felt anymore. The longer I had stayed in that cell, hurting and in pain, the more my feelings for her had dimmed. Who wanted someone who despised you? Who wanted a woman who was repulsed by everything that you are?
Mae had wanted me as her friend, and all I had done was stab her in the back. A dull, unbearable ache settled in my stomach. Besides my brother, she had been my only friend.
I needed a friend right now.
Sucking in a slow, labored breath, I met my brother’s eyes. “I would never have kept her.” Judah’s head drew back. I’d shocked him. And just as I sensed no deception in his revelations, I knew he sensed no deception in mine. “She was never meant for our world.”
Judah seemed to radiate rage. It started as a low ember, growing to a molten fire. “Why?” he shouted, rising from his step like a demon from hell. “Why are you being this way? We were made for this life, but you are turning your back on the path, your people. Your brother! For what?”
I didn’t speak. Judah walked to where I sat and grasped my arm, sending pain ricocheting down toward my fingers. But Judah’s eyes were on my ink again. “I never let myself believe it. But you were truly corrupted. If you were still pure in your beliefs, you would not be fighting this with such venom.” He bent down and asked coldly, “Do you want to be put back in that cell? Do you want the punishment to continue? Do you want to be alone for the rest of your sinful life?”
A flicker of the old Judah sparked in my brother’s eyes. Buried beneath all of the power he held, below the faith that protected him like a shield, he was sincerely imploring me to repent. In that moment, I saw that he was just as afraid of failing in his leadership as I had been.
Judah’s hand slipped down my arm and landed in my palm again. I swallowed back the rush of emotion that came flooding forth. For the longest time I had been starved of faith in others. His hand was a lifeline. I was drowning, and he was trying so desperately to save me.