Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 110824 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 554(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110824 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 554(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
“I also told you I was trying not to scare you. Everything I told you I felt after that, though, should have made it clear where I stand.”
“Every woman wants to know that she’s loved and valued, Victor.”
“In that case, Angelina Ione Conroy, I love you endlessly. I will love you until the day I die and whatever comes after that. Does that make it clear?”
“My last name is not Conroy and I hate the name Ione. Honestly, I hate my entire name,” she grumbles.
“Your name is beautiful, or at least it will be when we legally add Conroy to it.”
“Are you proposing to me, Victor?”
“I am. Are you going to say yes?” I ask, knowing I will absolutely fucking marry her right this minute.
“Don’t you think we better see if I can ever be a normal person before we jump into talking about marriage? You’re a great guy, but I don’t think any man—even you—wants to be married to a woman who is terrified of physical intimacy.”
“I don’t think you’re terrified of me, Gia.”
“I’m terrified of having sex in general, Victor,” she counters.
“That’s because you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. I think we need to go slow.”
“Well, we’ve known each other a year. I don’t think you can get much slower than that,” she half-heartedly jokes.
“Will you let me touch you, Kitten?”
“Uh…what?”
“Let me touch you. We can quit at any time, but I think we both need to see how you react to my touch.”
“I…”
“We need to try, Gia. You know you’re safe with me. If it gets to be too much, all you have to do is tell me to quit.”
“Does it have to be tonight?” she asks, sounding panicked.
“It doesn’t have to be, but I think it should. Tomorrow is my last day here. I leave early the following day. I think if I can prove to you that you’ll feel safe with me when we’re physical, some of your doubts will recede.”
“And if it makes things worse?”
“Then, we’ll continue every day like we did last night until I win you over.”
“I don’t think you understand, Victor. You don’t have to win me over. I already lo—care for you. It’s my mind and my body that makes this impossible.”
“Trust me, Gia. I’ll win your mind and body over, too.”
“What if this doesn’t work?”
“What if it does?” I grin at her as she just shakes her head. “Go take a shower and get ready for bed. I need to call Zane and Lodi and make sure things are in motion for when we head out. We’ll talk more about it later, okay?” I wonder if she picks up on the fact that I’ve made sure Zane is going with me. The thought of leaving him alone with her was just too much for me.
“Okay,” she agrees. I lean down and kiss her lips softly. She’s worked herself up too much. I can tell her entire body is filled with tension. I’m hoping a shower will help her unwind. If not, then hopefully what I have planned will help with that. I jump off the bed and leave the room whistling. She might be scared I won’t break through, but I don’t have the same doubts.
Whether it’s tonight or a year from now, Gia will be mine completely.
angelina
. . .
The shower did make me feel better. I’m still keyed up, but I try to ignore it. I’m being silly. I love Victor, even if I am scared to tell him that. He wouldn’t hurt me and he’s right. I have to try. If I can be normal with anyone, it would be with him. I should have more faith, but honestly, it’s not like I’ve been very lucky over the years. Victor is the one lone bright spot in all of it.
I don’t have to ask. I know he’s planning on us sharing a bed tonight. I realize that we’ve been doing that almost every night that he’s been here and have for a long time. It never truly registered until just now. It just felt…natural. Victor will be happy with just sleeping beside me. I want to kiss him. I want to be closer to him. I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to block out my memories. I haven’t in over six years.
I start to worry about what I should wear to bed. I don’t have anything sexy and I’m pretty sure if I wore something like that I would go into a panic. I settle on a T-shirt that Victor gave me a long time ago. It falls mid-thigh and is big enough that you couldn’t call it sexy at all. It has the band name Wallflowers written on it. I smile because Victor took me to watch their lead singer a couple of months after we met. That’s when he bought us matching shirts. Unfortunately, I left mine in the hotel room when we left the following morning. Victor gave me his as a replacement. The memory makes me smile. That’s just one of the reasons this shirt makes me happy.