Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 134057 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 670(@200wpm)___ 536(@250wpm)___ 447(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 134057 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 670(@200wpm)___ 536(@250wpm)___ 447(@300wpm)
But the human in me, the one that still harbored feelings for this man, whether it be Jagger or Liam, I wasn’t sure, the human in me could betray him like that. It wasn’t my choice to make. Especially if Liam never intended on coming back here. It was one thing to give a son back, to have Kent and Mary swallow the truth the same way I did, but it was quite another to give him back for a fleeting moment and then make them watch him ride away on a motorcycle to a dangerous and foreign life.
As much as it physically pained me, the deception, the dirty secret he was forcing me to keep, I knew there was no other choice. Not for me at least
It was up to Liam.
Before, I would’ve been certain Liam would’ve made the honorable choice. To tell the truth, to free those he loved from suffering.
But this man was not honorable.
This man had a distorted view of suffering, higher than most.
The honorable choice for an outlaw usually masqueraded as the dishonorable choice for most everyone else.
He watched me approach, calm, collected. Outwardly at least.
There was a storm in his eyes.
I sat down beside him, thinking of everything I’d just left at the hospital. I stayed longer than everyone else, trying to soak up as much time with my nephew as I could. I’d lied to my family and said I was on a deadline for the story and needed to leave tomorrow.
They weren’t pleased. But they understood. And they had false comfort in another lie about the story I was doing.
Everything was coming too easy now. Deception. Lies.
So I stayed holding the purist and most beautiful thing I might ever hold. I thought my chance at a family was shot to shit, even if I survived what was to come.
But visiting hours stopped, my sister waned, and it was time for me to go.
I cupped her cheek. “You did me proud, Katie.”
She smiled lazily. “You did too, Linny. Just in case you didn’t know it, just in case we don’t say it enough. You’ve done us all so proud.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re proud now I made it home.”
She reached for my hand and squeezed it. “No, not about your stories, well that too. But we’re most proud that you made it here. Made it through. We’re proud of the woman you’ve become even with everything you’ve lost. And I know that you have to be a little further away from us to get through, I hate it, but I get it. I might not get you, but I love you. I’m proud of you. And I’m proud that my son has an aunt like you.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
I squeezed my sister’s hand. Brushed the one errant hair that had moved out of place. Then I kissed her head.
“Sleep,” I whispered. “It’s probably the last time you’re gonna be able to do that for the next ten years.”
I winked and walked out.
I wanted to go home.
So I found myself in a shitty hotel on the outskirts of town, sitting next to a slightly familiar stranger in a motorcycle cut.
“We would’ve had it,” I whispered. “I can almost see it. Taste it. Touch it.” I sucked in a ragged breath, the cracked and stained concrete in front of me flickering until it was replaced by grass so green it could only exist in someone’s dreams. Freshly mowed, because that’s the kind of person Liam was. He didn’t hire anyone. He did it himself. Every morning. After coffee, after waking up and making love to me. There were two cars in the driveway. His truck and my Jeep. I always wanted a Jeep. And this was the life I always wanted, wasn’t it? My job was stable, our love was strong. Our grass was green. And it was nothing but a forgotten dream. A dream marred by the truth.
I blinked myself back into reality.
It was harsh, stark and so gray it was a color that couldn’t exist in a dream.
“There was a life for us, somewhere.” My voice was rougher, throatier, hard so it could weather the harshness of the moment. “In the past.” I stood on shaky legs. I brushed off the back of my jeans. Gave myself a handful of seconds to gather my wits before I met his eyes.
They weren’t hard. Or dull, lackluster in the reality that surrounded us.
No, they were starker than that grass that was too green to be true, and brimming with the life we’d lost and whatever death had given him.
I bit my tongue so hard that I tasted bitter coppery blood.
“We don’t live in the past. Whatever’s between us, it was. It was buried in that empty coffin along with whoever you used to be.”
Liam stood up too.