Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92668 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92668 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
“What do you mean?”
“My memories of it are hazy, Lottie.” She met my eyes, and a wariness shone in her gaze. “I remember the day because I’d had yet another tumultuous meeting about the divorce. Shane suggested cooking for us and firing up the barbecue because it was nice out—he even said he’d grab everything on his way back from work and not to worry about a thing. I got my nails done and came home for a bath, and when I got out, he’d just come home. We cracked open a bottle of wine and he let me vent about the day while he cooked.”
Oh, no.
I had a horrible feeling about where this was going.
“I remember eating and finishing off the wine together, then he suggested we open the gin he bought me for my birthday a couple of weeks before. I was in that weird emotional state where drinking was not something I should have been doing, but at the same time, I wanted to just… let loose and forget the whole day.”
I grimaced. “We’ve all been there.”
Steph sighed, folding her arms across her chest. “I wasn’t that drunk, but after that, it all gets a little fuzzy. I barely remember us sleeping together, and what I do remember is not quite clear. When I mentioned it the next day, he told me I’d just drunk a lot, and half the gin was gone. I’m not a big drinker, and it doesn’t take much to get me drunk, so I didn’t think much of it, but now…”
“Have you told the police?” I asked gently.
“No. I can’t deal with that right now.” She shook her head. “Lottie… I’m… I’m pregnant.”
I blinked at her. “Oh, shit.”
“It’s Shane’s baby. There’s no way it could be anyone else’s. Given everything he told you and why he killed Declan, I’m really starting to think that he drugged me with the intention of this happening, so I’d never be able to cut him out of my life.”
Wow. What a fucking psychopath.
I didn’t know what to say and couldn’t say that last thought out loud, so I wrapped my arms around her in a huge hug. “I’m so sorry.”
“I just found out last week. I was late, but I put it down to the stress of Declan’s murder,” she whispered, then laughed at herself. “Oh, my God. Here I am, unloading on you again. You have enough to deal with.”
“Steph.” I held her at arm’s length. “He raped you. You know that, don’t you?”
She nodded, and her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “I do. I do now, I should say. I didn’t want to admit it before. I didn’t want to tell anyone.”
“He had an unhealthy obsession with you, and by the sounds of it, he has for years. I really think you should tell the police, but I understand if you don’t want to. It’s a lot to deal with.” I paused. “And the baby?”
“No.” She shook her head emphatically. “I can’t, Lottie. I—I just can’t do it. It’s not that I don’t want a family, I do, but not right now. Not like this. I can’t have this baby knowing how it happened. I’d never forgive myself if I went through with it and couldn’t love it. And I know adoption is an option, but I just… can’t.”
“Your mental health matters,” I said softly. “You’ve been through some insane trauma, and you need to heal from it. You’re not doing anything wrong, Steph. You’re not a bad person for looking after you first.”
She looked at me for a moment, then her bottom lip quivered. “I needed to hear that. Thank you.”
“I’m here if you need me.”
“I’m going home for a bit. To Wrexham. Declan always insisted on using private healthcare, and the hospital we use has a site near to my parents’ house. My doctor is happy for me to be, um, treated, there.”
I smiled. “I’m glad you’ll be with your family.”
“I didn’t want to just disappear on you. You and Ash have been such incredible friends to me, and I didn’t want to worry you, not while you’re going through so much.”
“And we still will be,” I reassured her. “Trust me—I know Ash. I didn’t speak to her for ten years and the first time she saw me again, she plopped down next to me and hasn’t left me alone since. She’s like those limpets in the rock pools, but in the best way.”
Steph finally laughed, swiping a tear away from her right eye. “Most definitely. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I promise I’ll keep in touch.”
“You better.”
“Besides, you and I are practically trauma bonded at this point,” she joked.
“I know you’re joking, but you’re not exactly wrong.” I laughed, hugging her again. “Do you want me to tell Ash?”