Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
I should have gone straight to her side and apologized, but I worried the girl would get away. I worried the drakoni would lose himself and attack the fort. I worried my tenuous control on the others would snap. I did not return to bed last night. Not only because I was busy, but because I knew I would not be welcome.
And I am so, so tired.
Do you need to sleep? Luminoura offers. I like to sleep.
You should eat, Sallavatri insists. That one always commands like a general. I would find it amusing were I not so exhausted. I always feel better after I eat and then my mother pats me until I burp. Maybe you need to burp.
I do not need to burp. I need my dragon back. Now there are only five to guard the city, and I must place yet another into the “unknowns” grouping, with Vaan and Jurik. They say they will help me with whatever is coming through the Rift, but I do not trust them to be on my side. I have lost yet another ally somehow.
You can take me instead, Luminoura offers. I will help with the fort if you will not be sad.
I'm shocked at the offer, so freely given. No. I would not. The idea is repulsive. She has no idea what she freely suggests, or what she risks when she allows her mind to brush against mine so effortlessly. Both of the children talk to me in the empty void of mind-speech, where there were once countless minds but now seems to be populated by me and me alone. I did not realize how lonely it had become until Sallavatri's thoughts blasted into my own, quickly followed by Luminoura's. Now they touch my mind constantly. They pepper me with questions. They have been told not to speak to me, to avoid me, but like all children, they ignore the rules of their parents.
And I consider them…friends.
The thought of ensnaring one of those bright, fragile minds into my traps is appalling. It is different with the drakoni. Those are the ones I have been trained since birth to lure and capture. They are not and will never be my friends. I am their enemy, so it makes sense that I would capture them and hold them hostage in their own bodies. But not Sallavatri. Not Luminoura. I cannot bring up such things again because they will not understand the nuance. I am just sad that my friend is gone, I tell them. It is all right.
They give me another curious prod, and then, satisfied with my answer, their thoughts turn inward once more. I get flashes of nursing and faces of parents, and I discreetly close my mind to theirs with an affectionate wave of thought.
The moment I do, I am beset by weariness. My mind feels heavy, and I touch the five drakoni I have remaining, ensuring that they are all firmly in my grasp. There are a dozen things I should do at the moment. I should check in with the militia. Ensure that the other females have not abandoned the program after last night's display of temper. Send out mental lures for yet another drakoni to guard the walls. Yet all I want to do is return to my mate and bury my face against her breasts. I want her to stroke my mane and reassure me that all is well.
I know she will not, and it makes my spirit heavier. Sometimes I just want to walk away from all of this, but I do not, because I think of Melina with no one to look out for her, Melina who has had to poison a man that hurt her, Melina who cares too much for others and not enough for herself. If I do not tend to her every need, who will?
No one.
So I must stay. For her, I will stay and I will keep fighting on.
But first…with a weary sigh, I head for our quarters. It is past dawn, early in the morning, and I have not slept. I want nothing more than to curl up in her arms and relax, but I know she will have words for me first.
No one speaks to me as I head for my rooms. I have no doubt missed breakfast, but I do not pause in the dining room, because talking to Melina is more important. I head down one hall after another, and the servants duck their heads, avoiding my gaze. Before now, I was making progress. They would smile at me, and seem pleased when I returned their greeting. They are afraid of me once more, and even though I tell myself that it is necessary, that to rule, one must have no friends. That is how the Salorians have kept the drakoni people under their control for so long, after all. They do not befriend. They conquer and control.