Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
"What? God, no." Is he crazy?
"So it is not my mouth that troubles you, or the pleasure, but the circumstances we are in?" He toys with his tea cup, watching me. "You take no pleasure for yourself. Is it something you determine to maintain for the rest of your life or is there a different reason? We are married, as you have said before. We share a bed. Why not let me put my lips on you and tongue your cunt?"
I open my mouth to speak and a squeak comes out. I've had men proposition me before. I've even had to take some of them up on it. But it's always about what I can do for them, what my mouth can do, what it involves for them, not for me. It's been a long, long time since I was laid, and longer still since someone offered me oral sex. That must be why I'm pausing…right? "What made you decide to offer this?"
Azar shrugs. "I think it would be vastly pleasing to have you come. I would like to taste you. To go down upon you and lose myself between your thighs." He rubs a hand on his chin and then licks his lips. "I admit that just the thought makes my mouth water."
I make another one of those wordless, startled sounds before clearing my throat. "Are you going to force me to do it?"
"No, not at all. I just wanted to offer. It's something that would bring me great joy, and I thought you might enjoy it as well."
Might enjoy it? Might? Even now I'm clenching my thighs together at the thought of his mouth between them…clenching and wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I should absolutely not want this, and yet… "Have you done this before?"
"No." He lifts his tea cup. "Do you wish to instruct me on how to properly do so? I am willing to learn."
Teach a man how to give me oral? Oh lord have mercy. "This doesn't change anything between us."
"It does not."
"I'm still not giving in. On anything."
He inclines his head. "I want your touch only if it is willing. This has nothing to do with that. This is me simply wishing to partake in another human tradition."
Human tradition. This man is insane. But he's right. We are married…ish. Why am I even considering this?
It's because I'm lonely, I realize a moment later. Those rare moments when Azar touches my hand makes me realize just how long it's been since someone touched me, and I'm craving intimacy. Craving touches…even if they come from the dickhead that forced me to marry him. And he hasn't been the worst partner. If anything, he seems to become better by the day, more thoughtful, more focused on improving the fort.
This might be a really, really bad idea and yet I can't get it out of my mind. "Let me think about it."
I'm still thinking about it later that night when I head to bed after my bath. I eye my pinned-up curls, fussing with my appearance. Maybe when it gets cooler and it won't turn the room into a furnace, I'll light a fire, heat up a hot comb, and straighten my hair. I used to love straightening it in the Before. It was time-consuming, sure, but it helped me think. I fuss with my hair a little longer, then put on a satin sleeping cap that appeared with my toiletries the other day. It's like anything that has a black woman on the packaging, Azar gets me one. I appreciate it, though. After so many years of going without, it's nice to have whatever I want.
Azar.
I still don't know if I trust him. I don't know if he's going to take things the wrong way if I say yes, go ahead and lick my pussy. Then again, will it anger him if I say no? Will it change the delicate balance between us and he'll decide to become the aggressive asshole I fear could be lurking a wrong answer away? I don't know what to think. I feel like I can't make a rational choice until I see how he'll react if I refuse him. If he loses his shit, I'll know it's just another ruse. Another way to try to control.
It's better to say no for now and recant later, I decide.
Bracing myself for the shitstorm, I wear a modest sleep-shirt and head to bed. Azar comes in when it's dark and I'm still awake, tossing and turning. The moment he enters and begins to undress, I sit up and watch him. He pulls off his robes, revealing his lean body underneath, and even though he's incredibly pale, he's not unappealing. There's a lithe strength to his form and as he climbs into bed naked, I'm relieved to see his dick hangs half-mast between his thighs.