Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Melina stiffens in my arms at the onslaught of emotion-laden memories, but then she strokes my back again. "I'm here. I'm healthy. Whatever you gave me worked. I don't have anyone else's blood but yours."
I'm glad. I shouldn't be, but I am. If it had taken the blood of ten thousand drakoni, I would scent each one on her skin and be grateful, but her scent is purely her own, with mine flavoring it.
"How do you feel?" she asks, pulling back to study me. "No one's been able to get through to you for days."
I shrug, looking around for something for her to wear. I've shredded her clothing like the monster I was—am—and I have zero regrets. She will want something to cover herself with, though. "How should I feel?" I deflect. "My mate is back in my arms and I just claimed her fully for the first time. I feel incredible."
Melina touches my arm, getting my attention, and she frowns at me. "Before you go calling me your mate again, we need to talk."
Panic flares inside me. "You don't want to be with me?"
She studies my expression, her own somber. "I love you, Azar. But sometimes love isn't enough. I need to know I can trust you. Not just with my well-being, but that of other people. I want you to prove to me that you're never going to enslave anyone ever again. Show me that you mean it. That it's not just words…because I can't be with a slavemaster."
It goes back to this again? I want to laugh, but Melina is deadly serious. "Is that your biggest fear? Not that I will break your heart, or be unkind, or be a bad partner, but you worry about others?"
"No," she says, voice calm. "I need to make sure that I can look myself in the mirror when I say that I love you. It's for me as much as anyone else."
In a strange way, I get that. And yet, I'm oddly afraid. I've been carefully shielding my thoughts from her, worried she might pluck out something that she doesn't like and discard me entirely. But if I keep holding things back, she will never trust me. So I move to the car and seat her atop it once more, because I can feel the fatigue aching through her thoughts. "Do you have water? Are you hungry?"
"Are you changing the subject?"
"No." The time for running has past. "I want to make sure you're comfortable, and then I'll open my mind to you. You can pick through whatever you want, for as long as you want."
Melina studies me, as if seeking the truth of this, and then nods. "All right."
She gestures at her pack, and I get out some of her food and drink, holding it out to her. While she nibbles on a hard chunk of nut-filled bread and sips water, I dig through her bag, looking for a change of clothes for her. Melina likes to look nice and I want her to be comfortable. Instead, I pull out one of my robes and glance over at her in surprise. "You brought this for me?"
"Of course. Coming back without you wasn't an option."
Because I'm hers? Or because the fort needs me? I'm not sure I want to prod her mind and find out the answer. I shake out my robe and instead of putting it on, I move to drape it around her shoulders. She needs it more than I do.
Melina offers me the bottle of water, and I drink, then hand it back to her. She looks as if she's done eating, so I speak. "I'm going to open my mind to you. Everything will be there. Simply think your question and I'll let you access that part of my mind." It's something I've never done for anyone, and I feel intensely vulnerable knowing she will see all the ugly parts of my past, but if it shows her the truth of my thoughts, it's necessary. "I have not always been a kind man."
She snorts. "Honey, you have never been a kind man. I'm not expecting miracles. I just need understanding. Reassurance."
I nod, and then close my eyes, pulling down my mental shields and leaving myself utterly exposed to her.
It takes a moment, but Melina prods at my mind. Her mental touch is gentle, as if she's aware of what this is costing me. I don't want to push her toward anything in particular, so I try to relax and let her choose what she wants answers to. She immediately pokes at how I feel about her, wanting to know my thoughts on her as my mate, and it fills me with a warm rush that she's choosing herself before anything else. I know what she'll see there—nothing but love and utter devotion on my part. Intense fascination giving way to obsession. Adoration. I love everything about her, and how vibrant she is, how determined. When I first came to Fort Dallas, my initial thought was simply to find a way back to my world. Now, everything has changed. This is Melina's home, and I am hers. Going back would mean returning to my Salorian ways, and I can't.