Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79941 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79941 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
At first she was stiff against him. But then she melted all at once and clung to him, her arms around his waist. Courick didn’t like hunching over. He sat on the floor, his back against the wall, and gathered her into his lap.
Addison didn’t make any protest, she just buried her face in his shoulder and wept, her whole body shaking with the force of her sobs.
“I’m so sorry, little one. So sorry.” Courick stroked her trembling back gently, his heart fisting in his chest at her pain. Doubtless the father-daughter dance was a custom she had once dreamed of experiencing at her own wedding. As much as she loved her half-sister, it must be difficult to see her getting so much special treatment from their father, who had neglected Addison her entire life.
At last Addison looked up. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were red but she had mostly stopped crying.
“I’m sorry,” she said stiffly, trying to get off his lap. “I shouldn’t have broken down like that.”
“Sometimes the pain is so great you have to let it out,” Courick said simply. “Stay here a while longer.” He kept his arms around her, not letting her get up.
“I shouldn’t,” she protested. “We’re not together anymore. If we ever really were together in the first place.”
“We can be together,” Courick told her. “If you’ll only come back to me, Addison, I swear I’ll never leave you again.” He paused, weighing if he ought to continue or not. “I have…a pain I haven’t shared with you as well,” he said. “The reason I took my vow in the first place.”
“You do?” She looked up at him uncertainly. “I wondered but I didn’t want to pry. Can you tell me?”
“If you wish to hear it.”
“Please.” She nodded.
Courick took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He told her, as briefly as he could, about Yasha and the trip they had taken together. The way he had made certain to lock the ship but the raiders had broken in anyway…how he had found her later, ravaged and fatally wounded…
“I can still hear the sound of her screams,” he finished hoarsely, his throat thick with emotion. “I’ve hated and blamed myself ever since. I didn’t think I deserved another mate when I couldn’t protect the first one…and so I took my vow never to call another bride.”
“Oh, Courick—that’s awful!” Addison’s eyes were filled with tears all over again but this time, he realized, they were for him. “I’m so, so sorry—but it wasn’t your fault,” she told him.
He shook his head.
“That’s not how I see it. I never should have left Yasha alone in the first place. But we were out of fuel and I thought…I thought she was safe.”
“No wonder you got so mad at me for trying to get you to break your vow. I’m so sorry!” Addison threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. “I shouldn’t have done what I did. I should have respected your boundaries.”
“And I should have given you time to explain after your father came into my office,” Courick told her, hugging her back. Gods, she felt so good in his arms! “But I’ve been released of my vow now, by a priestess in the Sacred Grove. We really can be together…if you’ll give me another chance.”
Addison pulled back and for a moment he thought he saw hope shining in her eyes, but then she shook her head and looked away.
“I’m sorry, but I need time to think about it. Right now, I don’t feel like I can let myself be completely vulnerable with you again. Not after the way you left. It was like being abandoned by my father all over again, in a way.”
Courick felt a growl of pure frustration rise in his throat and swallowed it down with difficulty. He would have to be patient, he told himself. He had wounded Addison—she needed time to heal.
“All right, I understand your reasoning,” he said calmly. “But I’m not giving up—I’m going to stay with you. So what do you want to do now? Go home or stay at the wedding?”
Addison sighed and swiped at her eyes.
“I’ll stay—at least until Lacy throws her bouquet. I promised her and I don’t like to break a promise. I have to fix my make-up first, though. I must look like a mess.”
“You look beautiful,” Courick said with perfect honesty.
“Yeah, right.” She tried to get off his lap again and this time he helped her up and rose himself. “Thank you,” she said a bit stiffly, when they were both standing.
“You’re very welcome,” Courick told her. “Come on—let’s go back to the reception.”
Addison hung back.
“I know I need to but…it’s hard.”
“I know it is.” Courick held out a hand. “But I promise to be by your side for every minute of it. I’ll help you bear the pain, little one. Come on.”