Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 76984 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76984 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
“I’ve been wrong in not telling you how grateful I am for your help. The past few days have been overwhelming, and Esmé’s thriving in your care. I couldn’t have survived without you.”
“Anything you need, Lucas, I’m here for you.” The last of her words fell soft on my ears. Their message was powerful, comforting my soul.
We stared at each other longer than was appropriate, but neither of us dared to break our gaze. The same pull from the first day I saw her made me inch forward in my chair, my elbow sliding on the smooth table.
Our chests rose and fell faster than usual as electricity circulated between us. Maggie licked her lips, and I wondered how they tasted. Oh, how I wanted to find out, but we were playing a dangerous game, and I needed to end it.
I blinked and quickly looked away, breaking the spell we’d fallen under. Nothing had changed since I’d met her in the coffee shop. I knew she would be better off without me. She deserved a life of love and happiness. I’d earned a lonely existence to pay for my sins.
After our broken moment, the bottle-feeding lesson continued, though an unspoken tension lingered in the room. I noticed every little move Maggie made, every small flick of her eyes toward me, each turn of her head. Patiently, she taught me to hold the thing—my new nickname for the doll—at a certain angle along with the bottle. I even mimicked Maggie as she burped Esmé.
“Now, it’s your turn to feed Esmé the rest of her bottle,” Maggie announced. My hands began to sweat. I’d had more confidence taking on my father and his lawyers this morning.
Maggie stood up with a pink half-circle pillow with llamas printed on it wrapped around her waist. I hadn’t noticed it while she had been sitting down.
“Can you grab the Boppy?” Maggie asked as the pillow fell from her hips. I assumed that was the Boppy in question, so I stood up and scooped it off the ground.
“Here you go.” I tried to hand it back to her, but she shook her head.
“You’ll need it.” She peered up at me with a smug gotcha face. Dammit. “I promise you’ll thank me. Sit down.” As usual, I followed her orders.
I tried to secure the pillow on my lap, but the Boppy distorted into an odd version of a crescent moon. “I don’t believe these are made for guys my size.”
Maggie bent over while still holding the baby, adjusting the pillow better than my failed attempt. Her fingers gently grazed over my abs, hand stilling when she touched me, but she wasn’t the only one who’d slipped.
I tried not to peek down her T-shirt, but with her hair pulled back into a sexy mess, I had a clear view of paradise. As a certified boob man, if there was such a thing, I was powerless over her bountiful charms. When she glanced up at my face as my gaze drifted into forbidden territory, her eyes narrowed at me. Busted.
“Focus,” she said with a stern tone. “You’re about to hold your child for the first time.”
I’d behaved badly, especially under the circumstances. Also, it was inappropriate for me to sexualize my nanny, even if I had wicked thoughts about her before she walked into my apartment—and still did every five minutes or so. I blamed it on the lack of sex over the last three weeks. But Maggie was right, my child should be my top priority, not me looking down her shirt.
“I’m ready.” I pressed my back rigid straight against the chair, forming my elbow into a triangle. I held my breath as Maggie placed Esmé into my arms.
I wondered if babies could smell fear because it rolled off me as I settled Esmé in my arms. I imagined her looking up at me and immediately crying in terror when she saw the hard lines of my face and my cold blue eyes.
No matter how many deals I made on Wall Street, nothing prepared me for this. Lawyers spit words of hate in my face, and I walked away without a thought. But having my own child reject me would cut like a knife in a long-forgotten place—my heart.
My fears were chased away as the sweet child grinned around her little thumb, sucking it with all her might. In complete relief, my lips turned up so much, my face hurt. Once again, she accepted me. I exhaled the tension in my shoulders and relaxed. When I pulled her closer to my body, she snuggled into every possible cranny until she plastered herself to me.
“Hello, little one.” My little one.
My life as her father flashed before my eyes. Her first day of school. Her first fall off a bicycle as I taught her how to ride it. Her first crush breaking her heart. Unloading her gear for college. Then someday walking her down the aisle to marry the person of her dreams. I wanted to be there for all of them but felt a shadow fall over my visions, whispering my failings and what I truly deserved.