Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 57188 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57188 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Including Brady.
Since Layla had worn herself out at the park today, I took time for a call with Lucy. “Hey mama, are you free to talk?”
“Yes,” she groaned loudly. “The kids are asleep and Dante is at work. The house is so quiet I think I might be dead.”
I tossed my head back and laughed. “Well you’re not dead but the peace sounds nice.”
“It is.” Lucy lowered her voice, a true testament to how coveted quiet was in a house with small children. “What’s up?”
“Nothing. Just checking in with my girl.”
“Baloney, Toni. Spill the beans.”
“It’s nothing,” I assured her. “And even if it was something, it’s nothing that neither of us needs to worry ourselves about.”
Lucy let out a deep breath. “Well my life is diapers and carpool and breastfeeding so you’ll tell me everything and you will leave out no detail.”
“Lucy,” I groaned and covered my face with my free hand. “Let’s talk about anything else. Please.”
“No. You called me because you needed someone to talk to, so talk.”
“You’re not nice anymore,” I grumbled.
Lucy laughed. “I’m perfectly nice but I’m also short on time so tell me everything and make it quick.”
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me but just as I did, the little minx switched to a video call. “Is this necessary?”
“Perfectly. Talk.”
“Fine,” Sharing my feelings wasn’t really my forte but this was Lucy and she was the closest thing to a beat friend I had, so I sucked in a deep breath and let it out on a rushed breath as I told her the whole dirty story. “And that’s pretty much it. He wants me but not enough to share anything personal with me.”
“Brady Winsome,” she said as if the name meant something to her. “You haven’t looked him up?”
“No. if he doesn’t want me to know then I don’t want to know. Soon enough we’ll go back to being nothing more than boss and employee and it won’t matter who he is or what he does.”
“Right, but you’re not curious?”
“Oh, I am. But I’m also resigned. This is what it is and how it has to be, which means I’m working on being fine with it.”
“You’re hurt,” she guessed correctly.
“Annoyed,” I lied because it’s what I did.
“Yeah, of course. That’s what I said.”
I chuckled. “You’re such a good friend.”
“I am, aren’t I.” Lucy sighed and shook her head. “You like him and if I had to guess I would say you more than like him. But your instincts are right. If he doesn’t open up then what’s really between you?”
“Really great sex,” I answered. “Which isn’t as important as I thought it would be. Holy shit, is this like growth or adulthood or some other scheme?”
“All of the above,” she answered with an amused laugh. “Great sex is great but it’s only great because your feelings are involved, so if they aren’t returned or they come with strings, you might as well settle for emotionless really good sex.”
“Damn. Have you always been this good at giving advice or is it marriage and non-stop orgasms, oh, wise one?”
“Um, all of the above?”
We shared a laugh and even though I didn’t feel any better about my situation, just talking to Lucy made me feel better in general. “Thank you for taking time out of your busy new life for me.”
“Always. And if you need to talk or a guest room to crash in, our door is always open.”
“I appreciate that but maybe whenever whatever is going to happen, happens, I’ll treat myself to a vacation I’ve been meaning to take for the past few years.”
Lucy tossed her head back and laughed again. “Only you can say something like that and have it make total sense.”
“It’s a talent,” I smiled and rolled my eyes.
“I’m here except for right now because I have to go. There’s a baby in the house that needs to eat.”
“Okay. Kiss your kiddies for me. Thanks again, Lucy.”
“Anytime. Love you. Bye.”
I ended the call and shoved my phone into my back pocket before putting away all thoughts of the future. For now I was determined—and yeah maybe a little delusional—to live firmly in the present.
Chapter 23
Brady
This is why I don’t do relationships. Those words kicked around in my brain on and off all morning because my focus was divided, half on work and the other off stuck on Toni. Why was she the woman who’d gotten under my skin? What was it about that fiery red hair and sassy mouth that called to me and made me broke all of my rules?
Most of all, what was it about her that kept me longing for her even when she wasn’t around, even when she didn’t want a damn thing to do with me? Like now.
She’s made herself scarce since she accused me of only wanting her for sex. Just like all the others. Her words had pissed me off but they’d also broken my heart just a little. How many idiots in her life had she encountered who didn’t see how great she was? How sexy those curves were and how beautiful she was engulfed with passion? How did they not see what I saw?