Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 107118 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 357(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107118 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 357(@300wpm)
And I wondered what had happened before I got there. I never knew how it happened. I never knew if they saw their murderers. I never knew if men in pointed hoods turned up at their door to deliver their sentence.
My body shook, unable to tolerate the temperature. I gasped and slammed the control to cool. My forehead hit the tile, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
Finally, I let myself ask the question that had always lurked in my mind, but that I’d never let myself entertain. I wondered if they thought it was worth it. Wondered if I was worth it. If having me was a regret. To the bigots who attacked them daily, it wasn’t just the fact they’d fallen in love and vowed to be everything to each other. It was the fact that they’d created me.
I was the abomination that offended the Klansmen in Louisiana so much that they bypassed the planting of the burning crosses on my parents’ land, instead setting them and their house alight, murdering their love and any happiness I dared let myself hope for one day.
I wasn’t sure how long I stood under the spray. I got out and dried myself off. I slipped on my boxer briefs and walked out of the bathroom. The curtains in Cowboy’s room were closed. I heard the sound of crying before I saw them. Cowboy was on the bed, holding Sia in his arms as she fell apart. Racking sobs poured from her mouth. She was dressed in a nightgown. Cowboy was in his boxers too. He saw me at the doorway.
“We’re exhausted. Decided to come to bed and wait for you. Thought we could catch up on sleep.” He wiped Sia’s eyes. She turned to look at me, eyes red and face mottled with sadness. “But she can’t forgive herself,” Cowboy explained. I watched as Sia’s face crumpled and she turned her head back into Cowboy’s muscled chest. Her sobs grew louder. Clara and Michelle’s families had been told they had died. Not the truth, of course. Cops had been paid off for that luxury. But at least they knew they’d gone. Funerals would be had. Loved ones could move on.
I remained frozen in the doorway. Sia was better off with Cowboy. He always knew what to say. He was good for her . . . He was meant for her. I realized that now. I ignored the slash across my chest my resolve caused.
I was about to turn and leave when Cowboy said, “Val. She needs us.”
If I was going to go anywhere, it was blown apart when Sia, head still buried in Aubin’s chest, held out her hand for me. I stared at her fingers—shaking, trembling . . . reaching for me.
Tethered to her need, I found myself walking toward the bed and climbing in beside them. I lay on the pillow and closed my eyes, exhaling when Sia wrapped her arms around me. And I held on. I wrapped my arms around her and fucking held on.
“It isn’t your fault,” I murmured. Sia cried harder. I pictured her friend in my head. A glimpse of what would have happened if Sia hadn’t gotten out. My hand moved under her nightgown to press against her scar, the remains of the acid burn that had been her original punishment. I held her so tight I worried she couldn’t breathe. My hand edged north, near the newest wound. But I stopped myself from touching it. My hand stilled. Cowboy’s hand came on top of mine. Fucker was trying to stop us both from falling apart. Or maybe he actually needed the comfort too. He was so good at taking care of me, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever truly been there for him.
Another thing I’d fucked up.
Sia’s cries drifted away until I thought she was asleep. I closed my eyes, hearing Cowboy breathing beside me. Sia had shifted until she was in between us. One hand on my chest, one on Aubin’s. The center of us both. The Sun to our fucking Earth and Moon. Then her hand shifted, and in the complete silence that had descended on the room, she whispered, “Make love to me.” I held my breath. Sia didn’t move to look at either of us. “Both of you. Together. Just . . . make me feel something else but . . . this . . .” Her voice broke on the last word and took my fucking heart with it.
Cowboy was the first to move. For once he didn’t speak. I watched my best friend roll onto his elbows, looking down at Sia with an expression I hadn’t seen on his face before. That fucking look . . . it was the one I knew I wore when looking at her too.