Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 107118 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 357(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107118 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 357(@300wpm)
“Here.” Footsteps came near me and someone lowered themselves to the floor. Jeans were the first thing I saw . . . then I felt a hand press against my cheek. It was trembling. I looked up and saw a beautiful face staring down at me.
Elysia, a break in my mind told me.
Sia.
“Hey, darlin’,” she whispered and ran her fingertips along my cheek. They were shaking. Something in my chest cracked when tears began falling from her eyes.
“He’s good, cher,” Cowboy said. Sia’s eyes squeezed closed. Her breathing hitched, punching a hole into my damn heart. Cowboy’s hand came down on her shoulder. “He’ll be thirsty. He always is afterwards.”
Sia opened her eyes and pulled herself together. Nodding, she shuffled closer to me and placed her hand under my head. I wanted to do it myself, but I had no fucking energy to move. “I . . . I . . .” She looked up at Cowboy.
“He’s not hurt, cher. Just tired. You won’t hurt him by lifting his head.” I listened to Cowboy instruct Sia as though I were watching from a distance. Not present enough to speak or help myself or fucking do anything but let her soft hands touch my skin, the warmth from her palm taking away the coldness that had blanketed my body.
Sia shuffled closer still. She lifted my head from the pillow and onto her lap. I exhaled a long breath, feeling her body heat act as a fire to the muscles and bones that were beginning to ache. My body was shaking. The aftermath of what I now realized was a seizure.
My consciousness began to clear, second by second bringing me back to the here and now. My eyes rolled to look up at Sia, who had simply been stroking my head for a few minutes. When my eyes connected with hers, she gave me a watery smile, then, fucking stealing every ounce of breath I held within my lungs, lowered her head and pressed her lips against mine.
Everything inside me told me to push her away, to move and refuse her help. But I didn’t move. I didn’t even try. I was so fucking tired of running from everyone who tried to know me better . . . I was so fucking tired, period. So I just closed my eyes and let her comfort me. Let the hands I had wanted on me for too long run down my cheeks. And let the lips I had wanted on mine press all over my skin—the color of which was so different to hers.
And I let myself accept that she now knew. She knew what I hid. What should stop me from riding. “Drink, baby,” she said softly. My eyes opened to focus on her face. Sia tilted my head up. She brought the glass to my lips, and I sighed, feeling the cold liquid run down my dry throat. I never moved my eyes from Sia’s. Her lips shook as she helped me drink. When she lowered the glass, I looked over her shoulder to see Cowboy standing against the wall, watching. His arms were crossed over his chest. I couldn’t read his face. But I thought he looked . . . relieved?
“That better, darlin’?” Sia asked. I couldn’t find the strength to speak, but I could finally move my head a fraction. I nodded.
“Let’s get you on the couch,” Cowboy said. My best friend came and lifted me off the floor. This wasn’t unfamiliar. I’d lost count of how many times Cowboy had had to do this over the years. It was why I couldn’t ever fucking let him go.
Why he never walked away.
He moved me to the couch next to the fire. He knew I got cold afterward. Cowboy pulled a blanket over me and turned to start the fire. Sia had beaten him to it. I watched her, numbly, as she piled the logs in the open hearth. I flinched when the fire began to rise, the orange-and-red flames licking at the logs, crackling as they attacked the bark. Cowboy slipped to sit beside me. His hand went to my shoulder and squeezed. I didn’t look at him. Too busy fucking battling the lump in my throat and the memories I had no energy to fight.
My eyes lost focus in the flames, and like they did every time, voices began screaming in my mind . . . loud, agonized screams . . .
I jumped forward, trying to get up the stairs to the front door. Fire lashed at my arms, scalding the skin.
“I can’t find a way in!” Aubin shouted . . . and then I heard it.
“VALAN!” I snapped my head back and looked up at the attic . . . and my whole world fractured apart . . .