Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 45063 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 225(@200wpm)___ 180(@250wpm)___ 150(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45063 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 225(@200wpm)___ 180(@250wpm)___ 150(@300wpm)
“But you were honest,” Adam says, looking at me with shining eyes. “You came to me, and you told me, and I think we could’ve worked it out.”
“It’s the past,” I say.
“There’s still time to fix it,” he replies. “That’s why I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.”
He turns back to his crossword, occasionally asking for my advice on a clue. With each answer, it’s difficult to hold back everything I’ve done with his sister, the desire I still feel bubbling up every moment.
“What’s another word for monomania?” he asks.
I almost laugh. “Obsession.”
“That’s it! The final clue.”
Soon after, we go to bed. I take out my phone and navigate to mine and Harper’s email thread.
Are you still awake?
I can’t sleep, she replies almost right away.
Can I call you? What’s your number?
Yes…
She leaves her number at the bottom of the email.
It will take everything I have to force myself through this phone call, but it’s the right thing to do. We have to put it behind us. Harper has an unrequited love out there someplace. Maybe she’s only pursuing me to make this man jealous, whoever he is, or maybe she’s doing it because she doesn’t want to be alone.
Whatever the reason, Adam deserves better.
And what he said downstairs? No, that doesn’t change anything. It can’t.
“Hello?” she says, answering with a shaky voice.
I keep my voice low, sitting at the chair by the window, as far from Adam’s room as possible.
“I’ve been thinking about us,” I say, “and…”
My stomach cramps, like my instincts are making one final effort to stop me before I do something stupid. I force myself to picture Adam’s face, the tears glistening on his cheeks.
“Bryson?”
“We have to end it,” I say, fighting every impulse within me: possessiveness, jealousy, and obsession. “I should never have started it. It’s not fair to Adam. We both know that.”
“Of course, I know it,” she says, her voice curiously tone-free, deadened. “Is this really what you want?”
No, not even close.
I want to fall to one knee and present a ring worthy of my princess, to slip it onto her finger and stare up into her eyes, glistening with happy tears. I want to pull her into my arms and spin around as the joy spins around us. I want to kiss her with love blazing through each subtle movement and take her body with lust burning between us.
“This isn’t about what I want.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“No,” I snarl, then quickly lower my voice. “It’s not what I want, but it’s the right thing to do. For however long I’m here, we have to have some self-control.”
“Then maybe don’t feel me up in your car,” she snaps.
I say nothing, letting out a shaky breath.
“I’m sorry,” she says after a pause. “We both know I wanted that. You could tell, couldn’t you?”
“Yeah, even if I tried to pretend I couldn’t.”
“For the record,” she says, “I still want to go on that date.”
“So do I.”
“But we can’t,” she goes on.
“No. It’s too much too soon after…”
“After Eva’s death.” There’s a strange note in Harper’s voice, almost like an accusation when she says Eva’s name. “It’s all such a tangled mess, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“I remember when I was a kid, and I broke my wrist. Being in your office, and you were so tall and huge and… and you made me feel so safe, Bryson. You cast me up so gently. I remember thinking I might break my other wrist just so I could go through the whole thing again.”
“What are you saying?” My voice is tight now. “You were a kid, Harper. I barely remember that. You were just another patient.”
She doesn’t say anything for a long time, then sighs down the phone. “You barely remember it.”
“Like I said, you were a kid. What do you want me to say? It was a special moment for me, too? If I was the sort of man to say a thing like that, I’d throw myself off a goddamn bridge.”
“I know you’re not that sort of man,” she snaps. “I’m just saying… it was special to me. And tonight, at the pizza place, before we were interrupted… that was special, too. This whole crazy adventure has been special. But I get it. It has to end.”
“It’s the right…”
She hangs up, leaving me to stare out the window at the backyard, the moonlight glistening off the icy grass.
I don’t get it. Why would she share that with me? I was kind to her when she was a kid, okay. What does that have to do with us, here, now?
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Harper
I move through life, barely conscious, wishing something would jolt me out of this new, ugly mood.
Even as I yell at myself that I’m being melodramatic, I can’t break it.
It’s not as though Bryson and I had anything real to begin with, not as though we shared more than some kisses and steamy moments.