Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79991 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79991 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Policies. Rules. I’m so sick of hearing about them, sick of everybody else getting an extra pass except for me. There are so many other arguments I can make, but I’ve made them all before. He practically knows my entire life story by now. I’m surprised I didn’t get invited to his kids’ last birthday party. We spend so much time facing each other across his scarred, scuffed metal desk that we might as well be family.
Speaking of family, I don’t have any to fall back on. I don’t have anything valuable that I can sell. There are only so many hours in the day, and I doubt I could devote enough of them that anybody would bother hiring me.
His eyes light up, and for a moment, I have hope. “Could you find work someplace else? If they’ve cut back your hours—”
So much for hope. I shake my head, nauseated more and more with every passing moment. “I’ve already applied for everything anywhere near campus, but jobs are scarce. Everybody keeps telling me more spots will open after graduation, but what good will that do me now? Besides, the company covers part of my tuition as it is. I’d be in worse shape if I quit.”
“I know, it all seems impossible.”
“Seems?” I scoff, “No, it is. You’re telling me I’m going to be kicked out of school at the end of this semester unless I can pay the rest of my bill, which we both know I can’t.”
“You won’t be kicked out,” he reminds me, and while I know he’s trying to be nice, the fact that he sounds like he’s trying to talk one of his twin toddlers out of doing something foolish only grates on my nerves. “You’ll be put on a waitlist, then re-enrolled when you can pay again. And until then, there’s one last extension we can apply for, but that’s it.”
Yes, that’s it. I only have to wait until I can afford it. By then, tuition will go up even higher than before, I’m sure. It doesn’t help that some of the classes I need for my major are only offered next semester, then not again for a year. This isn’t a matter of just waiting until next year. It would be a year and a half at this point. A year and a half of everyone around me moving on and getting ahead while I work some crappy job, scraping nickels together to afford the basics.
There’s a knock on the door, and we turn to find the financial office administrator poking her head in. “Your five o’clock is here,” she murmurs, offering me an apologetic smile. In other words, it’s time for me to go.
“Don’t give up hope, Alicia,” he says, his brows pinched together in a pained expression as he extends a hand to shake.
I return the gesture robotically, doing it only because it’s expected of me. This gets more painful with every passing moment. I know I shouldn’t feel ashamed, but I can’t help it. I’m a loser, at least in the eyes of the powers that be around here. Just one more pitiful person who can’t quite seem to get things right. It’s enough to make me want to crawl into a hole and bury myself.
I should walk out of his office with my head held high since it’s not like I did anything to get myself in this position. I didn’t blow a trust fund or dip into my tuition funds to pay for a lavish trip or anything like that. All I did was commit the crime of being poor, and it seems like there’s no shortage of people who want to punish me for it.
When I step outside of the building, I make it a point to take a few deep breaths in hopes of centering myself. Campus has already quieted down a little bit, the way it always does at this time of day. Still, enough people are hanging out, chatting with friends, and listening to music without a care in the world to set my teeth on edge and make frustrated tears threaten to well up in my eyes.
They don’t get it. They don’t understand how charmed their lives are. Sure, they might have other things weighing them down. Everybody does. But their existence is at least provided for. They can afford their iced coffees, cute clothes, and upgraded phones while I walk around with a phone at least four generations behind.
I’ve never cared about fitting in, attending parties, or joining clubs and activities. The whole idea of college life never really resonated with me. I’m here to get an education so that I can live a better life in the future. That’s all. Not that I don’t have any friends, I just don’t have time to indulge in fun things the way so many other people do.