Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 76309 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76309 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
We’re too deep into this fucked-up situation to say we’re actually dating. And still some part of me wants that.
I don’t know how to bridge the gap between where we are now and where I want to be. It feels like a chasm, yawning up from beneath us.
And I don’t get a chance to try, because my phone starts to ring. Lanzo grabs it from the nightstand, frowning at the screen, before turning it to face me.
Burian’s phone number.
Chapter 25
Renata
I don’t like this at all.
The fairground crawls with people. Rides attached to trucks and trailers are scattered all over as young kids run riot, laughing and screaming. Lights flash, workers shout, families call to each other over the noise.
I’m shocked nobody’s gotten killed yet from these rickety-looking machines.
Lanzo sticks close to my elbow. He stands out, but he won’t leave me alone, even though I told him we’re going to blow our cover at this rate.
“Why the hell would he want us to come here of all places?” I ask once we find a relatively quiet corner beside a game nobody wants to play. The operator stares dolefully in our direction.
“I don’t know,” he admits.
I feel uneasy with all this commotion and all these people, but Burian’s directions had been clear.
Come to the carnival being held on a nearby megachurch’s grounds. Find the man in the golden top hat. Escort him to a waiting truck with flames painted on the side.
That’s all. Simple.
But it feels wrong. I hug myself, glaring around at the people, trying to find Burian in the crowd. I don’t recognize him, can’t spot him in the crawling mass of faces. I keep wondering which of these people are working with the Russian hitman: that father with his two kids? That guy eating a hot dog alone near the big slide? Any one of them could be in the Russian’s pocket, ready to come over and murder us where we stand.
“You should go,” I say, glancing at Lanzo. “There’s a lot of people around. I should be safe.”
“Sometimes crowds are more dangerous,” he says, teeth clenched together. “All someone has to do is walk up, stab you, walk away, and disappear into the all the people. By the time you realize you’re dead, they’ll be long gone.”
I glare at him. “Why the fuck would you say that? Are you trying to freak me out?”
“I’m trying to make you understand how much danger we’re in right now.”
“No, asshole, how much danger I’m in right now.” I jab a finger into his muscular chest. “You’re walking away and keeping an eye on me from a distance. I’m in this alone.”
He clearly doesn’t like that. His face twists into discomfort as he glances around, stepping closer, hand locked onto my arm. “Listen to me. Keep your eyes open.”
“I know, I know, I’m looking for the man in the golden top hat. Which, by the way, isn’t going to be easy to find in this mess.” I spot at least a few crazy-looking hats, though mercifully none are gold and none are top hats.
“Not for him, I mean for danger. For someone trying to hurt you.”
“That’s what you’re here for, right?”
“I’ll be close, but I can’t be everywhere.” His voice his strained as his grip tightens. “Please, Ren. Be careful. And remember, you’re not alone, even if you feel like you are.”
“I will,” I promise.
He nods once, but doesn’t move for a long moment, before he leans in and kisses me roughly. I kiss him back, surprised he’s doing this in public, but happy to feel his lips on my mouth. I whimper as he releases back, staring into my eyes like he’s trying to drink in the memory of me. Then he’s gone, disappearing past a group of shouting teenagers chasing each other with balloon animals.
I’ve never felt so alone in a crowd before.
I always thought that was such a stupid cliché. How can anyone feel alone with thousands of people around them? But suddenly it’s like I’m the only person on this planet, and the crowd doesn’t matter. Each individual suddenly blends into an indistinct mess of noise and motion.
All I need is the man in the golden top hat.
I keep thinking about the night before as I search. Talking to Lanzo about how I feel wasn’t easy. Then later, thinking about what I want after this, as if there might actually be something for us.
But this relationship, these feelings I’m developing for him, I’m afraid they’ll evaporate the moment the danger’s past.
The moment Burian’s dead.
Worse, I’m afraid he’ll disappear the second he gets what he wants.
I don’t think he will, but that’s no guarantee. Lanzo freely admits he’s been alone for so long, I’m terrified that’s all he knows anymore. This thing we’re building between us, it could only be temporary to him. Ready to vaporize the second fresh air flows in, blowing away the smoke of confusion and fear.