Total pages in book: 208
Estimated words: 207002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1035(@200wpm)___ 828(@250wpm)___ 690(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 207002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1035(@200wpm)___ 828(@250wpm)___ 690(@300wpm)
Dropping my fingers from my bruises, I shivered in the cold, stark room. “Can I go now? I would really like to go.”
“Of course.” He gave me a fatherly smile. Standing, he waited for me to do the same before hugging my folder to his chest and saying, “The way you talk about him makes me grateful you have someone who cares so deeply for you, but also...scares me a little.”
I stiffened.
His eyes locked on mine. “Don’t you see, Nerida? You’ve just proven my point. I asked what would drive Aslan to do something so out of character, and it was you. You hurting yourself drove him to breaking point. Just like watching your dad hurt Aslan drove you to yours. I bet you didn’t think you could strike your father and I bet Jack didn’t think he could beat the son of his family friend. But you both hurt those you love to protect those you love. If you could do that to someone you care for, imagine what you could do to someone you hate.”
I tried to think up something to say. Some way of protecting Aslan from Wayne’s far-too-insightful evaluations, but I couldn’t. My brain was a gasping fish, flopping for air and utterly useless.
“You know...I watched a show on Netflix the other night called the Inside Man. My favourite actor, Stanley Tucci, plays a character on death row who helps out with criminal investigations, and you know what he said?”
I shook my head, not wanting to hear but knowing he’d tell me regardless.
“He said...‘Everyone is a murderer. You just need a good reason and a bad day.’”
I froze.
Wayne shrugged and patted my shoulder on the way to the door. “That line has really stuck with me, not because it’s morbid but because it’s true. Everyone has that switch inside them, Nerida. And if that switch gets pushed...we’re capable of monstrous things, regardless of the consequences.”
I followed him blindly out of the interrogation room and down the bleak linoleum-floored corridor to the waiting room where my parents paced anxiously for my return. With every step, what Wayne had said echoed in my heart.
It affected me.
It woke me.
And I knew without a shadow of a doubt, I was a murderer.
Just because I hadn’t spilled blood yet didn’t mean I wouldn’t. I’d kill Cem Kara, Aslan’s biological father, if he ever came for him. I’d kill any bureaucrats who tried to deport him. I’d kill any police who tried to arrest him.
Deep in my loving heart and gentle soul, a violence lurked, swimming in the depths of despair, snapping with jaws of fury. An entire brutal, black ocean existed within me, housing monsters of the deep, monsters ready to tear and claw and devour.
I just hoped I never had to unleash them.
* * * * *
“How did it go? Was Wayne nice to you?” Dad asked quietly, twisting in the front seat to stare at me.
I held his eyes, flinching at the tight, wary way he watched me.
My voice was small as I ignored his question and said, “I’m so, so sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to hit you. I never wanted to hurt you. But you didn’t listen and Aslan...” I sat taller, swallowing down my choking regret. “Are you okay? Is your head still hurting? Perhaps, we should go to a doctor and—”
“My head is fine. I’m fine. You don’t need to apologise, and I don’t want to talk about me.” The wariness in his eyes morphed into self-hatred that he hadn’t been able to stop what’d happened. His face twisted and he suddenly exploded with everything he’d been suffocating on. “Neri, I-I’m the one who’s sorry. So unbelievably sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. So sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me. So sorry I didn’t know in the first place. I feel like I should’ve known. How did I not know? How did I not see how much you’ve been hurting? I’m your goddamn father and my baby girl was fucking raped and I—” A sob cut him off. Twisting back around, he rested his hand on my mother’s thigh. “Anna. Stop the car. Now. Stop the fucking car.”
Mum threw him a look but seemed to understand. Flicking on the blinker, she pulled onto the small verge. Before she’d even stopped, Dad shoved open his door, leaped out, and threw himself into the backseat with me.
“Neri. Baby.” He grabbed me in the tightest, hardest embrace of my life.
The moment he touched me, I was his little girl again.
I buried my face into his chest and let my dad give me safe harbour...just for a moment. A single moment before I fought for Aslan.
His strong, comforting arms wrapped fiercely around me as Mum slowly veered back onto the empty streets, taking us home while everyone else was in a food coma, safe in their homes celebrating Christmas.