Total pages in book: 195
Estimated words: 185573 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 928(@200wpm)___ 742(@250wpm)___ 619(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 185573 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 928(@200wpm)___ 742(@250wpm)___ 619(@300wpm)
The pressure in my chest expands every day, and it’s only gotten worse with the latest development. Asher signed us to his label, and we’re leaving in a couple of weeks as his opening act for six shows before we head out on our first album concert tour. Everyone is over the fucking moon about it. This is what we wanted. But inside, I still feel like I’m dying, and I don’t know why. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me or why I can’t just be happy.
A part of me feels like it was all too easy. I told myself I wanted it, but now that I have it, I don’t know how I’ll maintain it. I feel like I’m bound to fuck it up somehow. Like because we didn’t earn it the hard way, it’s destined to fail in spectacular fashion.
Kieran tells me I’m being ridiculous, pointing out the fan base we gained from the videos online, but somehow it wasn’t as daunting then. Now we have a manager and a brand. There’s an online presence. Social media pages. Things I don’t even want to think about. It feels like it’s all happening too fast, but I can’t stop the momentum. All I can do is buckle up for the ride.
I lay back in the lounge chair, stroking Ranger’s fur, grateful for his presence.
“At least I have you,” I murmur.
He nuzzles against me, and my heart rate slows. I quietly thank him for his support. For his unconditional love. And I promise him that I’ll take care of him no matter what. We drift off to sleep, and I wake to Kieran’s voice stirring me with an obnoxiously happy demeanor.
“Yo, breakfast is ready. You’re going to miss all the bacon if you don’t get your ass inside.”
I open my eyes, squinting against the bright light, rubbing Ranger’s back as I ask him if he wants some breakfast. He doesn’t move.
Everything around me goes still as I call his name, waiting for him to wake up.
He never does.
Chapter 71
Bianca
“Hey.” Birdie taps on the doorframe, her eyes meeting mine in the bathroom mirror. “Everything alright in here?”
I nod absently, staring at my body in the reflection.
“It’s going to be okay.” She comes to stand beside me and offers me a smile. “You know that, right?”
I don’t know how anything is going to be okay. I’m lost and confused, and it feels like I’ve been dropped into someone else’s life.
“Is it his?” My fingers graze my abdomen as I wonder when it will start to show. It still doesn’t feel real, and I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and realize this was all some weird dream.
“It’s Madden’s,” Birdie confirms quietly.
I try to process that, but it’s too hard. A few days ago, I woke up in a hospital bed with no memory of how I got there or who anybody was, and now I’m pregnant by a man I don’t even recognize.
“I know this is all super new,” Birdie says gently. “But I don’t want you to worry, okay? We have plenty of time to figure everything out. The most important thing you need to know right now is that you’re going to be taken care of, no matter what. We’ll keep you safe at the compound, and in time, you’ll get to know Madden again. I can promise you he would do anything to protect you and provide for you both. You won’t be alone.”
“You can’t tell him.” My panicked gaze shoots to hers.
She grimaces at my request but forces a nod. “Okay, I won’t. It’s not my place. You can tell him… when you’re ready.”
I don’t know if I’ll ever be, but for now, I just don’t want to think about it. There will be enough to process as Birdie takes me to the compound today, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that either. But regardless, the hospital is discharging me, so I have to go somewhere.
“I’ve got all your things at my place,” Birdie informs me as we walk out of the bathroom, and I take one last look around. “You’ll have everything you need.”
I’m in a fog as I prepare to leave the safety of this room behind.
“Hey.” Birdie touches my arm. “You still with me?”
I nod, reluctantly following her to the door. I’m relieved to find the hall is empty, as I requested, and Birdie takes it upon herself to reassure me.
“The hospital kicked everyone else out,” she says. “It’ll just be me, you, and Gypsy on the ride back to the compound.”
I’m grateful for that piece of information, but it doesn’t last long. After we ride the elevator down and exit the hospital, someone calls my name just as Birdie opens the car door for me.
I glance up to see the same woman who was in the hallway before. She looks like me, but I don’t feel anything when I meet her gaze.