Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 138541 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 554(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138541 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 554(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
“That’s not the only thing I’ve missed.” He adds a few minutes later. His voice is quiet, almost as if he doesn’t want me to hear him but can’t stop himself from telling me. “I’ve never liked living with another, not even my family as I was growing up. As you can imagine, I wasn’t much of a people person after…” He trails off, but I know what he’s referring to. The abuse that no doubt twisted him into the man he is now. He’s not a bad man, just a… what’s the word? Different maybe? Well, he’s definitely different. “You forced me to take another look at my life, Guinevere.” Our eyes meet, a silent connection forming between us. My eyes burn slightly as I think back to the pain he’s been through and the pain he’s forced on me due to his own sufferings. “You made me happy.”
My breath catches and a choked sob escapes me. I don’t know why I’m crying. Relief that he’s here maybe, or memories of the hurt and the ache I felt on his behalf. Memories of that small boy being hurt so badly, the same small boy I see in the shadow of vulnerability that comes across his gorgeous, almost chocolate brown eyes.
“Gwen.” His voice is pained. He moves around the table in an instant and pulls me into his arms. I cling to his chest and let it out, my hands fisting in his shirt, no doubt creasing it. I don’t care.
In one swift move he’s cradling me on his lap as I cry into his neck. One hand combs through my hair as the other grips my ribs. “Don’t cry.” His hoarse voice only makes me cry harder.
“I want to resurrect him and kill him, Nathan.” I sob and pull away slightly so I can see his face. “I would honestly commit murder if he were alive. I hate him so much.” My anger pierces through my sorrow for him. Questions fill my mind, questions I know he won’t appreciate but I have to ask. “How did your parents not know?” He looks away as I pull back in an attempt to make eye contact.
“Don’t.” He begs, pulling me back to him whilst rocking slightly.
Using my hands on his chest, I break free of his firm hold. “No, it just… why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t anyone protect you?” Deep breath. “I don’t mean this in a horrible way but it’s not like it isn’t obvious that you’re hurting. Especially with the…” I motion to his hands and he winces. “Issues you have. If Dillan suddenly hated being touched or hated using his hands I’d wonder why.” He doesn’t answer. I search his face but read nothing. “They didn’t know… did they?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” He clears his throat and shifts on the spot. “Can we please not talk about this; it’s making me mildly uncomfortable.”
I shake my head. “I know and I’m sorry. It just doesn’t make sense to me.” God, I hate his parents. “Why didn’t you tell anybody?” Placing my hand on his cheek, I smooth my thumb over the soft skin beneath his eye. “Did Caleb know?”
“Caleb rarely stayed at our grandfather’s. Now… can we please stop this?” Seeing the shattered look on his face forces my conscience to pull my lips back together.
I sigh and press my face into his neck. If he won’t talk about it then I’m going to make one thing clear. “I don’t want you in that house anymore. Not on your own. How can you stand it?”
“Hush.” He soothes and brushes my tears from my cheeks with the back of his bare knuckles after removing his gloves. “No more. We’re supposed to be having fun.”
I let out a half laugh half sob and sniff unattractively. “Sorry. I’ve got it. I’ll hold it together.”
“You don’t ever have to keep anything inside, not from me. I just don’t want your tears to be because of something that happened so long ago. He doesn’t deserve them.” He whispers and presses his lips to my head. “Stand. I want to dance with you.”
Blinking in shock, I pull back and look at him. “Dance?”
“Yes.”
“There’s no music.” I point out and wipe my face on a napkin, cringing when the white comes back tinged with black from my running mascara.
He shrugs off his jacket and places his phone on the table. Music instantly starts humming from the speakers and laughter escapes me. I don’t know what the song is, but it sounds beautiful. It’s not in English and is very soft and slow. Perfect to dance to with a romantic partner. Which is why this has suddenly become awkward.
Nathan guides me closer with his hand holding mine. My chest touches his and his jaw rests at my temple. His hand clasps mine between us, so I can feel the frantic beat of his heart against the back of my fingers.