Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 63702 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 212(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63702 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 212(@300wpm)
“You really have no idea why she left?”
I inhale deeply and glance over at him, but I can’t see his face in the darkness.
“I’ve thought about a million things but none of them make sense to me. She left and she never spoke to me again. I’ll never understand why she did that.”
Him and me both.
“I know you lost your sister,” I say carefully. “Perhaps that changed things.”
He reaches for the joint again, and I pass it to him.
This is the most rational conversation we’ve had. I’m not sure how long it’ll last, but I’m willing to push it as far as I can.
“Chloe wasn’t in town. We had a massive fight that night, don’t even remember what it was about. I was fuckin’ angry. Then I found out what happened to Jeannie. Chloe came back the next day, but somethin’ was never the same ...”
It is possible he is the one that wasn’t the same, but I’m not going to say that because I can’t possibly understand what he was going through. He was suffering and clouded with emotion, there is no way he would have been acting like himself.
“She was angry, and her moods were intense. She cried all the time. She just wasn’t the same. She wouldn’t talk to me. She gave me nothin’.”
That is strange.
God dammit, Chloe, what happened to you?
“It isn’t like her, that’s for sure,” I say, staring at the roaring orange flames before me.
“What was she like before she died?”
My heart aches, because I hated those final days of her life. She didn’t deserve to die. She was only young, and she had a whole life to live. But it was almost like she didn’t want to fight. When she found out she had cancer, she had treatment, but she never had a deep desire to really beat it. It was almost as if she wanted to die.
That broke my heart.
“She was never the same Chloe I remember when she came back. When she got sick, she just accepted it. She didn’t want to fight. She wanted to just go with whatever was coming to her. It was heartbreaking. It’s the only reason I’m here, doing this. It was the one thing she made me swear I would do. Considering she wasn’t passionate about anything else, I wasn’t going to ignore her wishes.”
“Do you have a picture?”
His request shocks me.
I reach for my phone, pulling it out and flicking through a heap of photos until I find the last photo we got together. She was in the hospital, but she still looked as beautiful as ever. Even right at the end, Chloe just held the kind of beauty you can’t explain. I stare down at her beautiful light brown hair, her stunning green eyes and the little scatter of freckles that cover her nose. I miss her. I miss her so much.
Handing the phone to Colt, I stare over, but I can’t really see his face.
He holds the phone there for a long time, and it hurts because I know that inside, he has to be aching. If he loved her the way I think, then he can’t possibly look at that photo and not feel anything.
“You got alcohol?” he suddenly asks, handing me the phone back.
“What do you want?”
“Somethin’ strong.”
I nod, standing and walking inside. I find a bottle of whiskey and bring it down to the fire. I hand it to him. He opens it and gulps down two big mouthfuls. Oh yes, that photo hurt a lot more than he is letting on. He hands the bottle to me and then reaches into his pocket and pulls out something in a little bag. He digs around, throws something into his mouth, and then reaches out for the bottle, swallowing it down when I hand it to him.
“Want one?”
“What is it?” I ask.
“Ecstasy.”
Oh.
I can’t say I’ve ever taken anything other than weed.
I extend my hand, knowing it probably isn’t a good idea, but I can’t seem to help myself. Something about sitting here with him, finally speaking, has me wanting to do whatever I can to make him stay.
He reaches into the bag and pulls a pill out and hands it to me.
I swallow it before I can think any more about it.
“Do you do this often?” I ask.
“No. But I sell a fuck load of it.”
Oh.
Well then.
“This isn’t going to kill me, is it?”
He grunts. “Fuckin’ hope not.”
Well, that’s reassuring.
It’s about to be a very interesting night.
5
Spinning with pure joy, I laugh as my body feels more alive than it has in a long time. Around the fire I go, arms spread wide, infectious laughter bubbling from my throat. Colt sits on the log, watching me, the whiskey bottle in his hand. His eyes never leave me as I sing and dance, my body feeling utterly euphoric.