Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 82888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
It’s singularly the oddest, most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me, and yet it’s left me in a rotten mood because I’m so damned confused as to what it all means.
I texted the girls when I got back to my house, and it was simple: I need a bar crawl tomorrow night. I’ve got something huge to discuss.
Of course, the girls all texted back wanting to know immediately what was going on, but I couldn’t go into it with them without the fortification of alcohol. The whole humiliation angle of letting him do that to me—and enjoying it more than all the ice cream in the world—is going to make it tough to talk about.
But these are my girls, and I’m loosening up. Maybe at the next bar I’ll be ready.
“God, I hope I don’t puke tonight,” Ann Marie laments. “Last time we did tequila, I was hugging the toilet for hours.”
“You drank coffee-flavored tequila,” Hayley points out. “That’s what made you throw up.”
Ann Marie gags at the reminder. We told her not to do it because—eww, gross—coffee-flavored tequila is barf-worthy just from the name.
I glance at Erica to find her staring across the bar at Hank. She has pale blue eyes and long, wavy dark brown hair. She smiles wistfully at him while he cheerfully talks to another guy at the bar, their eyes on a televised soccer match.
“Penny for your thoughts,” I say, kicking her under the table. She doesn’t even jolt, and I attribute that to the fact we’re all a little mellow from the tequila.
She sighs. “Just thinking about after we get home and you drunk chicks pass out, all the dirty things I’m going to do to Hank.”
“TMI,” Ann Marie yells and bangs her shot glass on the table. “More tequila, Sammy.”
The bartender lifts his chin to acknowledge the order.
“Whoa,” I say, interested in what Erica just said. “Not too much information. What are you going to do?”
“Oral,” she says with a resounding nod. “I’m not the most sexually free person, but get a little liquor in me, he gets his dick sucked, and I swallow.”
Hayley, Ann Marie, and I gape at Erica. Apparently, a little liquor also opens all of her TMI locks.
I’m not put off by this conversation at all, but it is a little unusual. While I love my girls to pieces, we don’t usually talk about these things in such detail, and I think it’s because most of us don’t have a lot of experience. We were considered the dorks in high school, and not one of us dated anyone seriously. I didn’t lose my virginity until I got to college, and I didn’t share details after it happened. I just sort of giggled about it with my girls over beers purchased with a fake ID.
We talk about everything under the sun, but when it comes to our sex lives, which aren’t all that active for any of us except Erica, we vague it up a bit.
Erica is being very specific, and it is exactly the confidence boost I need to talk about Coen.
“I’ve got an oral sex story,” I proclaim, which is a horrible lead-in but causes all three women to whirl their attention my way.
“You do?” Hayley asks. “Like… from college?”
Yes, my sex life has been dead lately, and thus, the question is legitimate.
I shake my head. “Yesterday afternoon. I had oral sex with my neighbor up against a tree in his backyard.”
A shot glass of tequila appears before me, and I glance up to see Sammy there with three more shots and a smirk in place. My face flames hot while my friends snicker.
Once he’s gone, I lead the toast since it’s my turn. “Here’s to another shot of liquid courage if I’m going to tell you this story.”
“Hear! Hear!” the girls shout, and we lick, swallow, and suck, which is highly appropriate given the theme of our conversation.
I set my glass down and take a deep breath. My girlfriends lean forward to listen.
“Okay, so you know my asshole neighbor Coen?” I begin, which is stupid. Of course, they know about him—they helped me set up all the feeders and salt licks night before last. “Anyway, his yard was apparently a literal zoo yesterday morning, and he wasn’t happy about it. He came over and confronted me. Told me I had to clean it up, or he would call the police.”
“Such a dick,” Ann Marie says.
“Too true,” Hayley echoes.
“So you told him to go fuck himself?” Erica guesses.
“No,” I exclaim with a laugh. “I didn’t want to get arrested, so I went over there and cleaned it up.”
My words falter and freeze on my tongue. They all stare at me expectantly, knowing this story’s origins came about while discussing oral sex. Air gushes out of me along with a litany of words that run into one another. “He was out there watching me take down the bird feeders, and we got into a fight and then he’s kissing me and next thing I know, he has my pants off, pinned me up against a tree, and his mouth was… well, between my legs, and I had the best orgasm of my life.”