Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 82216 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82216 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“I didn’t know you had such a dirty mouth.”
“Neither did I, but damn, it felt good to say it.”
“I liked hearing you say it. I think you should shout it out into the vast wide open canyon in fact.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah. Do it. Do it! Shout it out.”
“Cunt!”
“Say it again louder!”
“Cunt!” my voice echoed.
“Again.”
“CUNT!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.
We heard a thump against the window coming from the car parked just behind us. Chance hopped up to check on things. “Ah, crap. You scared the shit out of Mutton. He just dropped down.”
“Oh no.”
“That’s not all.”
“What is it?” I got up and ran toward him.
“When I say scared the shit out of him…I now mean literally. Bugger took a dump all over your backseat.”
“What?”
After Chance did his best to clean the mess with some Wet Ones wipes, the mood of our Grand Canyon excursion had officially been ruined. It was getting too dark to enjoy it anyway.
“Do you mind if we don’t camp tonight?” I asked. “I’d like to shower and sleep in a bed.”
“What do you say we go find a hotel near here, have a nice dinner, hot showers and call it a night. I’d like to sleep in your bed, too.”
“What did you say?”
“I said I’d like to sleep in a bed, too.”
“Oh.”
“What if we can’t find a hotel that will let us take him in?”
“We definitely won’t. So, we’re gonna have to sneak him in.”
Chance stopped at a drugstore on the way to the hotel while I waited in the car. When he returned, he handed me a plastic bag containing bottles of water, snacks, duct tape and…diapers.
“You bought diapers?”
“Yes. Huggies Pull Ups. We’re figuring out how to put one on him, especially if he’s got the runs, and we’re taking him into a nice hotel.”
“I can’t believe I hadn’t thought about this problem before. Had he not gone to the bathroom all this time?”
Chance pointed back behind us. “Did you see how much he shit just now? He was backed up for days!”
We both broke out into hysterical laughter, wiping tears from our eyes. When we finally calmed down, Chance started the car and drove toward the highway.
Somewhere in the middle of Arizona, Chance pulled into the parking lot of a pretty high end hotel about ten minutes off the interstate. After I got our room keys, we came up with a plan where I would distract the front desk clerk while Chance snuck the goat in. He’d wrapped him in one of my comforters and sped past the desk and into the elevator.
Chance had the door adjoining our separate rooms open when I got upstairs.
He’d already managed to put two Pull Ups on Esmerelda Snowflake, wrapping some tape around the top to secure them. Chance hadn’t noticed me, and I watched as the goat jumped into his arms and licked his face.
“Alright, buddy. Calm down. You’re a good mate, you know that? A good mate.”
“You’re being so sweet with him.”
Chance turned his head toward me suddenly, surprised to see me standing there. “Bugger’s growing on me.”
“I know the feeling.”
Because you’re growing on me.
“I was thinking I’d go out and get us something nice to eat. Do you like wine?”
“I do. I’ve actually been dying for a glass.”
“What kind do you like?”
“Any kind of white.”
“I like red. I’ll get both.”
“That sounds great.” I smiled. “Do you know where you’re going?”
“This map here says there’s a strip of restaurants and a liquor store about two miles down the road.”
“Alright. I think I’ll take a shower while you’re gone.”
“Okay. Any special requests for dinner?”
“Surprise me.”
He left, and I retreated to the luxurious bathroom. As the hot water poured down on me, all of the emotions I’d been struggling with the past few days seemed to pummel me all at once. It hit me that we were on the final leg of this trip now. I still had no clue if Chance and I would simply go our separate ways once we got to his stop or if he was interested in more. Based on that phone call I’d overheard, clearly, there was something he was keeping from me. I never flat out asked him if there was currently someone else when he admitted to a “complicated” situation. Even knowing that was a possibility, I couldn’t help my feelings for him. Chance was the only thing that felt right about my life right now—the only thing that felt like home for as long as I could remember.
I threw a t-shirt on along with some cotton shorts and tried to watch a little HBO while I waited for Chance. Esmerelda Snowflake hopped on the bed next to me. An hour went by, but Chance hadn’t returned. With each passing minute, an uneasy feeling grew in my gut.