Total pages in book: 225
Estimated words: 218500 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1093(@200wpm)___ 874(@250wpm)___ 728(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 218500 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1093(@200wpm)___ 874(@250wpm)___ 728(@300wpm)
I lean up on my elbow and look over to her face. She’s not asleep. She’s awake, staring into space.
“Good morning,” I greet and press my mouth to her shoulder.
It’s Saturday, thankfully, so I have nowhere to be right now, no one to report to. Although I got zero work done yesterday.
I stare at my naked ring finger. No fiancé.
I feel strange. Sort of empty. Kind of numb around the edges, but yet full of questions in the center of me. And hurt. I feel a lot of hurt.
I cried a lot last night under Derek’s covers. In Derek’s embrace. I let him comfort me. Not that it did. But I didn’t try to stop him from holding me tight, raining kisses all over my face. I sank into him as he whispered his crazy promises, almost taking comfort in some strange way. I cried for a lot of things. So many things.
And it might have been a cleansing of sorts. Because things feel different this morning. I have so much to figure out, but there’s this illusion of freedom in not being engaged.
It’s just a momentary illusion because I have a whole other set of problems now with Derek thinking what he’s thinking about us, but in the forefront of my mind is the fact that I won’t be Chloe Hallman. That Adam Hallman isn’t even real. It’s just him, his parents, his grandmother, and his brother and two sisters. He said they had no other family on either side, rarely talked about childhood memories, which makes sense now. And I don’t know precisely what happened to him, but the few bits and pieces he gave me about his uncle were enough to paint a picture. A tragic one. I don’t have the capacity to understand why he kept so much hidden from me. How do you fall in love with someone and not feel the urge to share your secrets? I guess we all have secrets. I guess trauma does things to you. And I guess having the ultimate trust broken by a family member can permanently scar you in ways others can’t fathom.
As my partner for life though, I can’t help but wonder if he would’ve ever told me the truth. Told me his old name. Would we be bound by marriage vows with all sorts of secrets?
I don’t have a wedding date looming. I have to tell my parents. Our friends.
Or I guess I do have a wedding looming if Derek forces me to marry him. And I can’t compute that. I haven’t let myself even begin to fathom what that could mean for my life, my future.
I’m supposed to be at Alannah’s tonight, talking her down from trying to help me deal with my Derek problem.
But my Derek problem has hit an entirely new level.
Held at gunpoint. Threatened. Adam, being told all the wonderful things Derek will give him if he makes this easy. The threats of things going very differently if he doesn’t. Derek doesn’t want me to worry about Adam, so he’s taking care of him at the same time as destroying the remnants of our relationship. All those secrets spilling out like noxious, hot lava coming straight at me. Jeannie. Adam’s uncle. How easily he gave in to Derek. He didn’t even try to fight. He looked not only resigned, he was looking at the bright side of things immediately. Thinking about that million bucks. And that hurts. Is that his coping mechanism maybe? Because Adam has had to cope with a whole lot lately. How is he this morning? Did he fall asleep at the drop of a hat last night or did he mourn the loss of me? Or did he lie there thinking about how wonderful it could be to be mobile again with that technology Derek mentioned. How much was ahead of him career-wise with the new opportunities Derek lined up. How giving me up would mean he’s a millionaire in a year if I don’t divorce Derek and instruct him to fork it over.
I always check to see if I need to move anything he might want from the top shelf in the fridge before bed to make sure he can reach them. Is he going to have trouble this morning because I’m not there to make sure he can access his breakfast stuff?
My mind swims with a zillion thoughts until I feel Derek stirring beside me. And now I’m feeling panic set in.
What now?
This mentally unstable man has me where he wants me. For now. What if he gets bored? I have no idea what to expect from the unpredictable man who essentially schemed and connived to steal me from Adam. He says he hasn’t done this before. He says a lot of things. Things some women would jump for joy about. I don’t know if it’s all the truth or not. And most of all, how does this end?