Total pages in book: 225
Estimated words: 218500 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1093(@200wpm)___ 874(@250wpm)___ 728(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 218500 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1093(@200wpm)___ 874(@250wpm)___ 728(@300wpm)
“All we’ve been through and you’re gonna let this end just like this without me really understanding what he’s holding over your head?”
Adam stares at me for a long moment.
“Maybe he’ll tell you anyway.” He shrugs. “I don’t want to talk about this, I really don’t, but let’s just say that my uncle is a pedophile and child killer. He’s in prison. I put him there. I can’t talk about it. We changed our name to get away from the press. It can’t get out. Can’t, Chloe. It’ll kill my grandmother. My folks. My siblings. We were hounded relentlessly. I knew you were willing to clear your account out for us to have this place. I didn’t want to leave us with nothing in case it leaked and we needed to get away. It’d be a circus. I took the stand, Chloe. I helped put him in prison because he did shit to me when I was a kid and then he did shit to other kids and a little girl died, so I spoke up.”
“Oh,” I whisper. “That’s terrible.”
“I can’t talk about it. Please don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t. Of course I won’t.”
But reality is sinking in. Adam and I were never on the same page about what it takes to build a life together with an unshakeable foundation. Honesty. Transparency.
I slip my engagement ring off and set it on the nightstand.
I watch Adam’s face transform from sorrow to anger. And then sorrow again. Sitting in his wheelchair but still looking so handsome, so healthy, and maybe he’ll get even healthier now that he’ll have everything that he wants. A publishing contract. He never even told me he had almost a whole series of books finished already. I don’t understand why. Because he got rejection letters? But he’ll get them published now. He’ll have an exciting new career. Technology that’ll give him even more mobility than what that van gave him. Financial security with new job opportunities. His dreams will come true. Without pressure for intimacy, equality in the household, for children. Two suits that help him walk.
And what about me? I don’t know. I just don’t know.
I feel hollow inside. Empty. And raw. I’ve been hollowed out with a rusty coat hanger.
“I’ll just pack a small bag for now. Figure the rest out later I guess.”
I don’t even know Adam’s real name.
I get to my feet.
Derek’s having him take the blame. Derek thinks we’re getting married.
Adam frowns. He’s having trouble believing this drastic turn of events. I can relate.
He didn’t even tell me the whole truth about the accident. That’s why I saw her twice at the hospital. His mother said it was a coincidence. Did his mother know the truth? Did his mother want them back together because she preferred Jeannie to me for Adam?
“I’ll always love you, Chloe. I’m so, so sorry. I-”
Springing erections and maintaining that his dick doesn’t work.
“I’ll figure it out,” I say. I can’t give him the I love you back. It’s just not in me. Because what does loving someone matter if you’re saying goodbye? If they’re willing to say goodbye without a fight?
He doesn’t say anything else. Of course he doesn’t try to touch me. He didn’t try to fight for me. It’s just… over.
And it hurts.
I’ve been fighting for him and he’s not remotely willing to fight for me. He’s not just biding time here. Placating Derek with plans to fight for me. He’s done. He’s accepting this.
I don’t want anything to happen to him. I don’t want him to hurt. I don’t want him afraid. I just want him happy. But I now know, deep down, that marrying Adam would’ve left me unfulfilled in so many more ways than just sexually. And would I have stayed so that I can hold my head high about sticking by him through it all? For better, for worse? Wearing the white dress just once? Being married to a man who can keep so many secrets from me? Taking a last name that’s a fabrication instead of becoming part of a family. His mom is always tepid with me. Because why? Because she wishes he’d married Jeannie instead of getting engaged to me?
I could really use some time with the feelings these revelations are bringing. But I can’t have that. Because realizing Adam Hallman isn’t my happily ever after is just part of the problem. Derek Steele is taking me home with him. With plans to marry me. With floating hearts in his eyes like a cartoon character.
He says he wants to focus on me, on making me feel appreciated. On making my dreams and my sexual fantasies come true. He’s the whole package. The whole package plus psychological issues up the wazoo. Sexy. Skilled in bed. Rich. Doting. Extremely possessive. Scratch that: insanely possessive. I gave Derek one night and now he’s demanding that I vow forever.