Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91389 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91389 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Everyone stares at her. I shift in my chair, feeling even more out of place than I did before, but there’s no way to get up and give these women some privacy. It’s nice they invited me, but I totally should not be a part of this serious of a conversation.
“When did you decide that?” Emily asks.
“I don’t know. It just sort of happened.” Stefania looks over at where Freddie’s got Jeremy in her lap and she’s tickling him while both of them laugh and roll around in the grass. “Davide never really pushed for it, and I got busy with work, and I guess one day we both looked up and were like—we’re happy, this is perfect, why change it?”
Nobody says anything. I could scream from embarrassment. Not because there’s anything wrong with going childless—that’s totally fine, whatever someone wants is their own business. I figure it’s better not to have kids than to have kids you don’t want. But I can tell this is the first time these girls are hearing about it, and they don’t know what to say.
Until Elena finally speaks up. “That’s… sort of amazing.”
“Seriously, it’s amazing,” Emily gushes.
And Stefania looks as surprised as I feel. “Seriously? You two don’t care?”
“Why the hell would I care?” Elena looks mildly offended. “Girl, you really think I’m the type of person that would, like, force you to get pregnant just because that’s what women in the mafia are supposed to do or whatever? We’re not having that kind of family.”
“Hundred percent agree,” Emily adds quickly. “I guess I just assumed you wanted kids, but that’s just my stupid bias. I think it’s amazing you two decided it isn’t for you and you’re sticking with it.”
“I’m mostly just worried about what she’s going to think.” Stefania’s still watching Freddie.
“She’ll be fine,” Elena says, waving away the worry. “Mom’s not stupid. She gets it. And plus, she’s getting kids from me and Emily and—” She waves a hand at me. “Probably from Claudia too.”
“Uh,” I say, unable to make my jaw work in order to form words, because now suddenly I’m next in line to get knocked up and I’m not even married to my man.
“That’s a good point,” Emily says, nodding as if that’s not actually an incredibly insane thing to say. “Angelo seems like the breeding type, right?”
“Uh!” I say, looking around in panic. Breeding? Like I’m a freaking dog or something?
“She seems healthy too,” Stefania muses, eyebrows pinched in thought. I swear she’s about to come up and check my freaking teeth. “I bet she could carry a big old litter.”
“Okay, too far!” I finally say and all three women laugh at me. I glare right back, annoyed that I somehow got teased. “I’m not even thinking about kids yet.”
“Don’t rush into it,” Elena says, patting my knee. “Seriously, we’re just kidding around.”
“Kids are great though.” Emily gets up and walks over to Jeremy. She scoops him up into her arms as Freddie flops down into a chair, out of breath from playing with the little guy.
“Didn’t she just say how hard it was?” I mutter under my breath and Elena stifles a laugh.
“What’d I miss?” Freddie looks around. “The vibe’s weird over here.”
“I just told them that Davide and I aren’t going to have kids.” Stefania says it so casually I almost don’t realize what’s happening. But suddenly Elena’s gripping my arm and sitting very, very still.
Freddie turns to look at Stefania—and snorts. “Took you long enough to admit it.”
“Huh?” Stefania asks, blinking rapidly.
“Come on, it’s obvious.” Freddie looks around for support, but nobody says anything. “What, none of you figured that out already?”
“I guess we’re the regressive ones,” Elena says with a laugh.
“My generation fought and died for your feminist right to do whatever you want with your body, and here you three are, talking about pumping out kids.” Freddie sighs, shaking her head.
“Mom, you had five,” Elena points out.
“And that’s my feminist right too. Really, I thought I raised you better.”
Stefania laughs and drinks, which finally breaks the tension. The conversation moves on to easier subjects: movies, TV shows, the new guards, construction going on in a few of the houses, and a million other little domestic issues. I sit back and listen, and occasionally they draw me into the conversation. As the afternoon wears on, I start to feel more and more comfortable.
I didn’t have a family like this growing up—it was just me and Serena. Uncle Rodney was like a vaguely abusive caretaker more than an actual parent, and now I can see what I was missing.
There’s real warmth between these people. Stefania and Emily both married into the Biancos, and maybe one day I can have that same level of familiarity—if that’s where my relationship with Angelo is going, which they all seem to think it is—and that gives me hope for the future.