Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 69711 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 349(@200wpm)___ 279(@250wpm)___ 232(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69711 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 349(@200wpm)___ 279(@250wpm)___ 232(@300wpm)
Krav acts all big and bad but when he’s in a gentle mood, he’s the warmest, most affectionate, caring guy. Having spent so much time with him, I no longer believe he’s incapable of empathy. Why else would he warm my hands or bring me food without being asked? I’ve done enough therapy to understand how behavior patterns are formed, and he had the worst role model in his father. Add to that the fact he’s never had a proper relationship before, and it’s no wonder he blows hot and cold. He’s probably confused as all get out.
I snuggle back against his comforting warmth. He agreed to spend the night with me. He took me out for an adventure. He’s certainly trying. I just need to be patient.
On the other hand, honey, you ain’t getting any younger. Try as I might to push that thought away, it keeps bubbling back up. While it might be prudent to wait some more, I need to find out whether Krav would be willing to have a kid with me.
I’ve spent the last year or two struggling to accept the likelihood of being childless forever so now, if there’s a chance I can have the family I’ve always wanted with a guy I’m crazy about, I owe it to myself to try. I read somewhere that a woman’s fertility starts dropping in her thirties so it might take a little longer—especially if he keeps coming in the wrong dang places, sheesh—but then again, I still menstruate, everyone keeps saying how fertile Omegas are, and my body feels different in so many ways since I got shot up with that serum. Maybe our rutting is enough, but maybe we could use a little extra help. Emma kindly offered to put me in touch with someone—a magician, I still grin at the term—who will hopefully have answers to all my questions about this. It would be foolish not to take advantage of the opportunity when there’s nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Krav and I just need to be on the same page about this.
I close my eyes, feeling somewhat calmer now I’ve made the decision: I’ll talk to him about it in the morning.
The blanket has slipped below my waist but it doesn't matter. I’m being snuggled by my living, breathing hot water bottle. His light, rhythmic snores soothe me like a lullaby, and I plummet into sleep.
Fourteen
Krav
I awaken to the sound of weeping. I’m on my feet—wings half unfurled, claws extended—before I realize it was a dream. My pet lies twisted in the sheets, her face scrunched in sleep. There’s a faint tinge of anxiety in the bond between us, a discordant note in the normally harmonious hum.
I long to stay beside her, which is why I make myself go. But the pain in my chest doesn’t ease.
It grows worse.
By midday, I’ve escaped to my study to see whether making some music will help the ache in the bond threatening to suffocate me.
It was a mistake to sleep beside my pet. Everything I’ve done to remain in control was swept away when I gave in to her request and spent the night by her side. If I’m not careful, she’ll get ideas—think she has power over me.
I will not be ruled by an Omega. I will not succumb to weakness and tell myself it’s love, as others do.
Khan is a prime example. He’s a successful Alpha king, one who commanded entire fleets of spaceships, whose reputation preceded him throughout the galaxy, and whose name struck terror into the hearts of foes, and yet the other day, he merely sat meekly beside Emma, reduced to a silent observer. A trinket on her arm. A shadow of what an Alpha should be.
Pathetic. I hear the insult in my father’s voice. He hovers incessantly in the back of my mind, sneering at anything he judges to be weak. He would make some allowances for my behavior in rut, but my longing to draw Renee close, to keep her with me always?
No sex is worth the headache of an uppity female.
He would advise me to put space between myself and the Omega. To spend time away from her until I can cease my thoughts’ constant orbit around her. She has become the suns and moons of my life, a disturbance bigger than an erupting volcano.
I try everything to make her happy—taking her on a flight, showering her with gifts, and learning everything that gives her pleasure purely to give her more of it—and yet she is never truly content. There are recurring spells of disquiet in the bond. I felt a faint one last night, and this morning, when I left her to sleep longer. When she woke to find me gone, her disappointment was like a knife slicing through my breastbone. The pain flared to a sharp peak, then faded to a dull ache. It’s still there, an acid corroding the connection between us.