Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 93002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
“I’m not sure about that,” she said. She opened her eyes, the blue shimmering behind a veil of tears. “I don’t envy you your grief, Forrest. I grieved Darcy, and I still miss her every day. It sucks, but I envy you your dad, because you’re right—my dad was a miserable human being. And I’m sure if I knew everything he’d done, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. But I’d probably be able to forgive some of it if he’d loved me even a fraction of how much your dad loved you. I know you didn’t have him long enough, but what you had was pretty amazing.”
My throat locked shut, and I shook my head, not denying her words, just too overwhelmed to say anything. I lifted our joined hands and kissed her fingers. If she walked away from me when this was all over, I wasn’t sure I’d survive it.
The flight attendant stopped at our row, offering our choice of drinks. I could have used a drink, but noticing Sterling’s choice of soda versus alcohol, I went for the same. Drinks in hand, I ignored the passengers boarding the flight and asked the question that had been bugging me for the past few hours.
Turning to Sterling, I rubbed the back of her hand on my cheek and asked, “Why didn’t you tell me about the programming? When did you start doing that? You weren’t doing it when we were together.”
“No, I…I would have told you,” she said, but her words were hesitant. “Or maybe— I don’t know.”
“So why didn’t you say anything? Still don’t trust me?” I hated the thought of that, but I needed to know.
Sterling gave an embarrassed laugh. “Not you specifically. I didn’t tell anyone. Hawk only knew because he had to go through all the web traffic when Emmett— It’s a long story, but Hawk found out. That’s how he knew and how Lucas and Emmett knew. But I was afraid. I was afraid you’d think it was stupid,” she said in a rush. “It’s so not me.”
Sometimes, this woman made my heart ache. She was so smart, so full of love, so much of everything that was good. It astounded me that she’d grown to the age of twenty-six and couldn’t see that in herself.
“You weren’t afraid to show me that you could break the ciphers,” I pointed out.
“I was,” she admitted. “But there was no way I could hide that if I was going to talk you into letting me see the Vitellius. The coding stuff was easier to keep quiet.” She drew in a steadying breath and let it out slowly. “I’ve been studying coding for about eight months. I didn’t tell anyone because, at first, I didn’t know if I’d be able to do it, and I didn’t want to fail at another thing. And then when I figured out I could do it, that I liked it, it just seemed so out of character. And I was afraid… I was afraid of being laughed at, I guess. I wasn’t sure what I wanted from it. It started with curiosity, and then…then I guess it’s turned into hopes. But I don’t…I don’t know what I’ll be able to do with any of this. Not really. Working in event planning at the inn was the first real job I’ve ever had. I don’t know what I’m doing trying to create a career out of some classes I’ve been taking.”
“There’s so many different things you can do with it,” I said. “But you wanted to talk to Lucas and Emmett. You want to get into cybersecurity?” Her eyes lit up, and I knew I was right.
“I do, and Lucas and Emmett liked my code,” she said, almost to herself, as if she needed to convince herself of the truth.
“You can learn anything they can teach you,” I said, utterly confident I was right. She was Sterling. She could do anything.
“You don’t know that,” she said, taking a quick sip of her soda and shaking her head with a smile as the attendant offered her headphones.
“I do because I know you. I know how smart you are, and I know how you are when you’re determined. You didn’t know anything about event planning when you came on at the inn.”
“I knew how to throw a party,” she said.
“Not the same,” I argued. “But you figured it out, and then you kicked its ass. You’ve only been coding for eight months, and already you’re writing programs that Lucas Jackson thinks are good.” I paused, letting that sink in. I was incredibly impressed with her but not particularly surprised. “You can do anything you set your mind to, Sterling.”
“Thanks,” she said quietly and settled back into her seat. “I guess we’ll see.” She slipped into thought, sipping her soda as we took off. A while later, she asked, “I hope your mom doesn’t mind me just showing up with you. I don’t want to make things worse between you.”