Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
It makes me feel really good to know that. Settled, in a weird way. And oddly enough, I feel a twinge of sympathy for Daisy, who's relying on her charm and looks to try and fit in with a group that's already been established. That can't be easy. I make a mental note to try and be friendlier instead of a possessive asshole. "She took it really well," I lie. There wasn't anything to “take” considering that the relationship between A'tam and Daisy was a sham. Flor doesn't know that, and I don't enlighten her. I'm sure some of the camp is aware, but it's not gossip I want to get into tonight.
I just want to be happy tonight. I want to feast and dance. I want to laugh and hear stories. I want to hold babies and enjoy myself.
"So how's resonance?" Flor asks.
A'tam glances my way, and my khui gets even louder. I put a hand to my chest, as if a touch will somehow calm it down. He's experiencing the same thing, I know, just from a look. He touches his chest, a hint of a smile curving that sexy mouth of his, and I get all flushed. I'm suddenly impatient for tonight, for more kisses and cuddles.
I think about what Steph said earlier. What am I waiting for? Am I waiting to hope that his dick will somehow shrink? It's not going to happen. Am I waiting to be more turned on than I already am? Again, I doubt that's going to happen. I've had better sex in the last week than I've ever had, and a penis has gone nowhere near my vagina. I don't think it can get much better. Am I waiting to be in love with A'tam?
I'm already there.
So why am I stalling?
As if Steph will somehow have those answers, I glance around the longhouse. No sign of her. I lean over to Flor. "Where's Steph tonight?"
Flor leans in, as if sharing a secret. "She's out at the rocks, trying to get Pak and Juth to join us."
The two from the outcast clan. No matter how many presents we send them, no matter how welcoming we might be, they won't join in. It's a shame. "You think they will?"
"No, I think she's wasting her time." Flor nudges me. "Don't change the subject on me. So how's resonance?" Her expression is part wistful, part curiosity. It hasn't happened for her yet, and she's one of the older women to be kidnapped. Early thirties, I think. She's never indicated that she's in love with any of the men here, but I've caught her watching the babies with a hungry look. She watches them the same obsessed way I watch A'tam's mouth. Maybe it's her biological clock. Maybe she's just craving a family. I get it. Resonance feels like an automatic “in.” No matter what happens, you're part of the tribe—and part of a pair—now. You belong.
I suspect Flor wants that easy belonging more than anything else, but who knows. Maybe she has babies on the brain. It's not something I've thought too hard about. My own mother was a nightmare, so I can't imagine being the mom to a kid…but I've been thinking about it more lately and I don't hate the idea. "Which part do you want to know about? Because I'm not telling you about our sex life."
My voice is teasing, but my heart flutters with nervousness. Steph hasn't said anything that I'm aware of. She treats our “sessions” like real therapy, for all that we're on a prehistoric beach. What if I'm wrong, though, and she's been telling everyone that we're not sleeping together just yet? That we're just super into heavy petting?
But Flor just makes a face. "I don't want to know about his dick. I already know far too much about that from other conversations, thank you."
Right. When I first slept with A'tam and freaked the fuck out.
"I just want to know what it's like emotionally," Flor says. "Do you feel different? Happier? Do you feel pregnant?"
I laugh. "Well, I sure don't feel pregnant. You can probably hear my cootie right now." I tap my breastbone. "It's still going like crazy." I pretend like this is normal. It kind of is. Some couples resonate and it can take days—or longer—for resonance to settle. I think it has something to do with how long it takes to get pregnant. Willa and Gren resonated for weeks and weeks before they finally had a break and they were going at it like rabbits. No one has to know that A'tam and I haven't gone all the way. They can just think we're not successful with the whole “make a baby” part yet.
"Are you overwhelmed with love?"
I shrug. "I was kinda overwhelmed with love for him for a long time before the whole resonance thing. We've always been unable to keep our hands off one another. I'm not sure if resonance changed that."