Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 79898 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79898 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
After changing into flannel pajama pants and a loose shirt, I checked on Ada once more and then joined Dad in the living room with two large glasses of wine.
“You want me to stay overnight and keep an eye on her when you’re at work tomorrow?”
I shook my head. “No, thank you,” I said. “I already told Nell that I’d be out.”
Dad raised an eyebrow.
“Surprisingly, she was fine with it,” I said. I bit my lip. “I think she’s remembering what it’s like to have little kids at home.”
“Stressful,” Dad said, nodding slowly. “But worth it.”
I didn’t reply. Instead, I took a long sip of wine and swallowed without even savoring the taste. I hadn’t eaten since hours before and I could already feel myself getting tipsy but for once, I didn’t welcome the sensation.
“What else is going on?” Dad asked. He took a long swallow of wine.
“Nothing,” I lied.
“Harp,” Dad said. He shook his head at me. “You forget I’ve known you for thirty-two years, hon. Whenever you’ve got something on your mind, you’re an open book.”
The kindness in his voice combined with the incredibly stressful day that I’d had was too much for me to bear and just like that, I burst into tears. I sobbed and sobbed, rocking back and forth as my dad pulled me into his arms and rubbed my back.
“It’s okay, hon,” Dad said, rubbing my shoulder blades. I blew my nose on his shirt, just like I’d done when I was a little girl. He didn’t ask questions or do anything other than soothe me and hold me and wait for the tears to end. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried like this – not even when I’d first found out about being pregnant with Ada – and while I had to admit that it was cathartic, it was also draining.
By the time I was finished crying, I felt like a complete mess.
“He knows,” I said finally, wiping my nose on my sleeve and leaning back against the couch.
To his credit, my father seemed the opposite of surprised. He got up and went into the kitchen, then came back with the wine bottle and topped off our glasses.
I couldn’t believe it – I had held in my secret for years, and now everything was out in the open. Nico knew, my dad knew that Nico knew, and soon Topher would be informed as well.
I swallowed hard as Dad handed me my refilled glass of wine.
“I can’t believe that I told him,” I said. “He called, and I was so worried and stressed about Ada that I just blurted out something about my daughter. I didn’t say your daughter or anything like that, but he’s not an idiot, Dad. I’m sure he knows. I feel it in my gut.”
My dad nodded slowly. “It’ll be okay, hon,” he said. “I promise.”
I stared at him. “How on earth do you know that?” I asked softly. “What if it’s not? What if he hates me now? Or worse, doesn’t want to be a part of Ada’s life at all?”
“Look,” Dad said. “You know I’ll always be there for you, right? No matter what happens. You’ve got a great family on your side, Harp. Topher and Ada and I will always love you and trust you to make the right decision.”
I sniffled.
“And for what it’s worth, I really do think that he deserved to find out,” Dad said softly. “I’m not judging you for waiting. But now, things should be easier now that everything is out in the open.”
I nodded. “I know,” I said. “I do. I feel like an idiot and a coward for waiting so long to tell the truth. But now ... I just feel so scared.”
Dad pulled me into a hug. I couldn’t have told you how long we stayed like that, snuggling on the couch, like I was little once again. It should have made me feel better – Dad always did – but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was horribly wrong.
“You should get some sleep, kiddo,” Dad said, and I realized that I’d been drifting off on his shoulder.
“Ada’s in my bed,” I told him.
“You take her room, I’ll sleep here,” Dad said.
I got up and stretched, then went to check on Ada. She was still sleeping soundly in my bed with her thumb in her mouth. She looked a little better – her skin was less blotchy than it had been this morning, but I still felt torn and wracked with worry at the sound of her raspy breathing.
Lying in Ada’s room, on her little toddler bed, I could already feel the hurt that was going to come from talking to Nico. I knew I owed him the truth – the whole truth, not just bits and pieces – but really, there was so much going on that I hoped for at least one more day to gather my thoughts.